Thursday, March 22, 2007

The Work

The Work (by Byron Katie) neatly directed my belief shift. Once, twice, three times...

I want to tell you about three believes that directed my life story:

  1. If I don't eat evil witch will take me away to her cave
  2. If I break a plate I get punished
  3. If I break a vase I get rewarded

And that is where all confusion started ...

My story:

The first story is kind of explanatory - rule by threat...
Plate and vase though, how are they so different to trigger
separate recognition outcome?

Ultimately I know - when I broke that plate I was 'careless' at age of 4.
At the age of 8 or 9 I was dusting and broke vase, so I got recognition
for dusting - vase was less important (and obviously not expensive).

The final logism would be:

I believe in punishment and reward.

which further takes me to conclusion:

I believe that

There is punishment
There is reward

Is it true?

To certain extent

Can I absolutely know that it's true?
Today I got a sign of an approval and it feels good. I got rewarded so I indulge in the
moment. I want reward to be absolutely true - for punishment... I'd consider.

How do I react when I believe in punishment and reward?
Punishment: Tense, offensive, defensive, withdrawn, pondering, figuring
out, proud, distant, creative...
Reward: Carefree, light, witty, whimsical, anything possible,

Who would I be without belief in punishment and reward?
Violet (The Incredibles), free, citizen of Earth.

Turn the thought around:
There is no punishment
There is no reward

Turn it around to myself:
I punish
I reward

How is this turnaround true?
When I punish and reward I become tense, offensive, defensive, withdrawn or I become spaced out.

How unpleasant!

And what if I believe that:

Universe is Benevolent
Change is inevitable

And I forgot the third one...

Oh, yes

Answer is in the future

Candy and Simba playing in the Dog Park, February 2007
Chaoyang, Beijing, PRC

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