Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Expectations

What belief do you live by:
  • have high expectations from the start, at least you will know immediately if it is not happening the way you wanted
  • have low expectations, you like being surprised with the better outcomes
  • no expectations are the best - live in the moment
There is no expert profiling out of your choice with an exception that you may now be aware that you do have a choice what and how to expect from life. If you have chosen the second option only because you have been burnt in the past stop and reflect on the reasons your expectations didn't match the reality. Could it be that you didn't have skills needed to match your expectations? First time ever? And just out of curiosity: could it be a seed of learned helplessness that is growing disguised by low expectations....

Apparently, according to a research, those who expect to live longer somehow do and those who don't - do not. Longevity Expectations and Death: Can People Predict Their Own Demise?
Well, in that case, just for the fun of it and because sacred Daoist (Taoist) books claim longevity is attainable (those were their expectations), revise and restate your own:
  1. Create vivid visual images that include sound and sensations. Play them in your mind, set a regular daydreaming date with yourself and allow your imagination to take you to your expectations.
  2. Notice any contradictory messages that come up when you state your expectations: anger, doubt, cynicism... take pen and paper and write down all the messages that come up. Now go through your list and say each statement in the voice of Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck if you are skilled enough... Maybe sexy voice of Sean Connery - play with it and observe your emotions dissipate
Applying the Law of Expectations by Dan Millman
Acting can become a transcendental art, not just on the stage of a theater, but in the theater of our lives. One enjoyable way to shift expectations involves ac ting as if you already have the courage, love, and wisdom you desire; by looking the part, dressing the part, speaking the part, and acting the part, you can begin to manifest these qualities.
  1. When you want to have, achieve, or become anything, ask the question, "What if I could? What would that look like and feel like?"
  2. Now, go beyond old beliefs and expectations; act out the role you would like to play until it's no longer a role; try it on until it becomes comfortable. If you don't feel up to a task, play the role of someone who would thoroughly enjoy it.
  3. This simple exercise can change your life in simple but significant ways. Try assuming a new role of a happier, more open, more positive you today.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

EIGHT WAYS TO SELF ACTUALIZE - Maslow

  1. Experience things fully, vividly, selflessly. Throw yourself into the experiencing of something: concentrate on it fully, let it totally absorb you.
  2. Life is an ongoing process of choosing between safety (out of fear and need for defense) and risk (for the sake of progress and growth): Make the growth choice a dozen times a day.
  3. Let the self emerge. Try to shut out the external clues as to what you should think, feel, say, and so on, and let your experience enable you to say what you truly feel.
  4. When in doubt, be honest. If you look into yourself and are honest, you will also take responsibility. Taking responsibility is self-actualizing.
  5. Listen to your own tastes. Be prepared to be unpopular.
  6. Use your intelligence, work to do well the things you want to do, no matter how insignificant they seem to be.
  7. Make peak experiencing more likely: get rid of illusions and false notions. Learn what you are good at and what your potentialities are not.
  8. Find out who you are, what you are, what you like and don't like, what is good and what is bad for you, where you are going, what your mission is. Opening yourself up to yourself in this way means identifying defenses--and then finding the courage to give them up.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Going Beyond the Secret

MNCT 588 - Going Beyond the Secret

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GOING BEYOND THE SECRET
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"The best way to predict the future is to create it."
-Peter Drucker

There is an old joke about three baseball umpires who are
discussing their strategies for calling balls and strikes.

The first umpire says, somewhat defensively, "I call 'em like
they are."

The second umpire shrugs his shoulders and says "Well, I call
'em like I see 'em."

The third umpire smiles knowingly at his colleagues. "You guys
have got it all wrong - they ain't nothin' until I call 'em!"

Strange as it may seem, these three approaches to judging the
accuracy of a pitched baseball correspond quite neatly to the
three main ways people approach going for what they want in
their lives...


1. Acquisition - "I call 'em like they are"

In the Acquisition model of the world, the stuff of life is out
there and your job is to go out and get it. Acquisition-based
thinkers often see life as a case of the "have's" vs. the
"have-nots", and shift between the roles of hero and victim in a
"dog eat dog" world.


2. Attraction - "I call 'em like I see 'em"

The movie (and subsequent book) "The Secret" is one of the most
popular ever presentations of the ancient principle that "like
attracts like". Attraction-based thinkers recognize that, as
Hamlet said, "There is nothing either good or bad but thinking
makes it so".

While this can lead to a considerably more positive experience
of the world, where the attraction model tends to break down is
when people attempt to control that world by controlling their
thoughts.

Over the past sixteen years or so, I've noticed that this
inner-directed battle for positive without negative and good
without bad has one major flaw: no one I've ever met (including
most of the teachers in "The Secret") can actually pull it off
for any length of time.

This doesn't point to a lack of sincerity on their part - it's
just that as long as you are at war within yourself, no matter
how noble the cause, it is impossible to experience peace.

(You can read more of my thoughts on the benefits and pitfalls
of "The Secret" at http://www.geniuscatalyst.com/secret.php)


3. Creation - "They ain't nothin' until I call 'em!"

A woman who wanted to hire me as her coach told me that she had
been deeply inspired by "The Secret" and had already applied
its teachings to attract herself a new job, a great apartment,
and a boyfriend who, in her words, "actually seems to really
like me".

When I asked her what she hoped to get out of our work together,
she went quiet for a few moments before somewhat shyly telling
me "I'm terrified that it will stop working and I'll go back to
being miserable and alone".

And therein lies the fundamental difference between these three
models of success:

*Acquisition-based thinking places the power outside of us in
the visible, physical world. If we want some of that power for
ourselves, we need to go out and get it. When we don't get
what we want, it's either because the world is rigged against
people like us or we just didn't try hard enough.

*Attraction-based thinking places the power outside of us in the
invisible, metaphysical world. If we want to tap into that
power, we need to align our thoughts, feelings, intentions and
desires. When we don't get what we want, it's either because
God/The Universe has a higher plan for us or we just didn't
think positive enough.

*Creation-based thinking places the power firmly inside
ourselves. We access that power through the choices we make
about how to be (our "ground of being", how to see (our
attitude, or "angle of approach"), and what to do (the words we
speak and the actions we take).

When we don't get what we want, it's either because we haven't
yet found a way or it's just taking more time than we want it
to. No blame, no fault, no shame.

I'll finish today's tip (and my writing for 2007) with my
favorite quote on Creation-based thinking as a model for success
in life, written over 100 years ago by George Bernard Shaw:

"People are always blaming circumstances for what they are. I
don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this
world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances
they want, and, if they can't find them, make them."

Create yourself a magical new year!


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(c) 2007 Michael Neill/All Rights Reserved


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