I want to tell you about three believes that directed my life story:
- If I don't eat evil witch will take me away to her cave
- If I break a plate I get punished
- If I break a vase I get rewarded
And that is where all confusion started ...
My story:
The first story is kind of explanatory - rule by threat...
Plate and vase though, how are they so different to trigger
separate recognition outcome?
Ultimately I know - when I broke that plate I was 'careless' at age of 4.
At the age of 8 or 9 I was dusting and broke vase, so I got recognition
for dusting - vase was less important (and obviously not expensive).
The final logism would be:
I believe in punishment and reward.
which further takes me to conclusion:
I believe that
There is punishment
There is reward
Is it true?
To certain extent
Can I absolutely know that it's true?
Today I got a sign of an approval and it feels good. I got rewarded so I indulge in the
moment. I want reward to be absolutely true - for punishment... I'd consider.
How do I react when I believe in punishment and reward?
Punishment: Tense, offensive, defensive, withdrawn, pondering, figuring
out, proud, distant, creative...
Reward: Carefree, light, witty, whimsical, anything possible,
creative...
Who would I be without belief in punishment and reward?
Violet (The Incredibles), free, citizen of Earth.
Turn the thought around:
There is no punishment
There is no reward
Turn it around to myself:
I punish
I reward
How is this turnaround true?
When I punish and reward I become tense, offensive, defensive, withdrawn or I become spaced out.
How unpleasant!
And what if I believe that:
Universe is Benevolent
Change is inevitable
And I forgot the third one...
Oh, yes
Answer is in the future
Candy and Simba playing in the Dog Park, February 2007
Chaoyang, Beijing, PRC
