Renewal

April is for Renewal.

"Entropy" means that anything left to itself will disintegrate until it reaches its most elemental form. So it is with self and relationships. Both need replenishing. Physical renewal is deveoped by exercise, eating healthy foods, and managing stress. Social/emotional renewal is strengthened by building bonds, providing serivces, and listening empathically. Mental renewal is facilitated by investigating unique ideas, learing new skills, and the juxtaposition of the old and the new. Renewal time cannot be left to chance; it must be anticipated and built into daily living.

My parents are visiting and I feel like my personal history is being re-written. I am hearing same voices, similar statements that used to 'push buttons' so many times before. Now I am renewed with peace and calm, laughter with my mom, giggle with my dad and patience, attentive listenning. I hear them for the first time.

Looking back at negative triggers that hurt so much before I am not sure why I couldn't snap out of it earlier. Major realization: nobody pushed my buttons but myself, it was just easier to blame others and find a reason for marginal living.

April seems like a good month to fall in love with my parents.

New love paints the day like Easter eggs.

Hristos Voskrese, Happy Easter - this year we celebrate it on the same day.