Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Don't Stop Believing - and enjoy the Journey!

I had a week of low lull. My body was weak, giving up to cold and quite negative thinking. I felt stuck in perception that I will never 'make it', that my efforts are fruitless and I should tame my hopes into realistic thinking how to survive urban jungle, hot weather, ignorant people and many other things. There is no limit in depth of negative thinking once it strikes its serve. Unlike positive thinking (so difficult to imagine and live according to 'the sky is the limit' maxim) I experience downward spiral of negative thinking with most amazing ease. Mind storms with questions What if? and the hell ride follows.

Still, each time the ride to hell and back is shorter and shorter. With some kind of intrinsic awareness I learned to remain open to messages despite how 'realistic' my 'what if' scenarios were. This time message came in form of CD that K brought from Canada. She overheard me talk about childhood tunes that used to get me going, the ones I couldn't stop listening over and over again while dancing in my study back home in Belgrade. At first I couldn't even see what the title of CD was when she handed it to me but once I managed to read the artistic sign the time machine took me right back to the moment of innocence and ultimate hope, belief that I am on the journey of exploring life with a smile and a tune in my ears.

I am back on track!

Just a small town girl, livin' in a lonely world
She took the midnight train goin' anywhere
Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit
He took the midnight train goin' anywhere

A singer in a smokey room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlights people, living just to find emotion
Hiding, somewhere in the night

Working hard to get my fill,
everybody wants a thrill
Payin' anything to roll the dice,
just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on

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