The Secret of Health

Expectations

What belief do you live by:

• have high expectations from the start, at least you will know immediately if it is not happening the way you wanted
• have low expectations, you like being surprised with the better outcomes
• no expectations are the best - live in the moment

There is no expert profiling out of your choice with an exception that you may now be aware that you do have a choice what and how to expect from life. If you have chosen the second option only because you have been burnt in the past stop and reflect on the reasons your expectations didn't match the reality. Could it be that you didn't have skills needed to match your expectations? First time ever? And just out of curiosity: could it be a seed of learned helplessness that is growing disguised by low expectations....

Apparently, according to a research, those who expect to live longer somehow do and those who don't - do not. Longevity Expectations and Death: Can People Predict Their Own Demise?
Well, in that case, just for the fun of it and because sacred Daoist (Taoist) books claim longevity is attainable (those were their expectations), revise and restate your own:

1. Create vivid visual images that include sound and sensations. Play them in your mind, set a regular daydreaming date with yourself and allow your imagination to take you to your expectations.
2. Notice any contradictory messages that come up when you state your expectations: anger, doubt, cynicism... take pen and paper and write down all the messages that come up. Now go through your list and say each statement in the voice of Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck if you are skilled enough... Maybe sexy voice of Sean Connery - play with it and observe your emotions dissipate

Applying the Law of Expectations by Dan Millman
Acting can become a transcendental art, not just on the stage of a theater, but in the theater of our lives. One enjoyable way to shift expectations involves ac ting as if you already have the courage, love, and wisdom you desire; by looking the part, dressing the part, speaking the part, and acting the part, you can begin to manifest these qualities.

1. When you want to have, achieve, or become anything, ask the question, "What if I could? What would that look like and feel like?"
2. Now, go beyond old beliefs and expectations; act out the role you would like to play until it's no longer a role; try it on until it becomes comfortable. If you don't feel up to a task, play the role of someone who would thoroughly enjoy it.
3. This simple exercise can change your life in simple but significant ways. Try assuming a new role of a happier, more open, more positive you today.

EIGHT WAYS TO SELF ACTUALIZE - Maslow

1. Experience things fully, vividly, selflessly. Throw yourself into the experiencing of something: concentrate on it fully, let it totally absorb you.
2. Life is an ongoing process of choosing between safety (out of fear and need for defense) and risk (for the sake of progress and growth): Make the growth choice a dozen times a day.
3. Let the self emerge. Try to shut out the external clues as to what you should think, feel, say, and so on, and let your experience enable you to say what you truly feel.
4. When in doubt, be honest. If you look into yourself and are honest, you will also take responsibility. Taking responsibility is self-actualizing.
5. Listen to your own tastes. Be prepared to be unpopular.
6. Use your intelligence, work to do well the things you want to do, no matter how insignificant they seem to be.
7. Make peak experiencing more likely: get rid of illusions and false notions. Learn what you are good at and what your potentialities are not.
8. Find out who you are, what you are, what you like and don't like, what is good and what is bad for you, where you are going, what your mission is. Opening yourself up to yourself in this way means identifying defenses--and then finding the courage to give them up.

Going Beyond the Secret

MNCT 588 - Going Beyond the Secret

========================
GOING BEYOND THE SECRET
========================

"The best way to predict the future is to create it."
-Peter Drucker

There is an old joke about three baseball umpires who are
discussing their strategies for calling balls and strikes.

The first umpire says, somewhat defensively, "I call 'em like
they are."

The second umpire shrugs his shoulders and says "Well, I call
'em like I see 'em."

The third umpire smiles knowingly at his colleagues. "You guys
have got it all wrong - they ain't nothin' until I call 'em!"

Strange as it may seem, these three approaches to judging the
accuracy of a pitched baseball correspond quite neatly to the
three main ways people approach going for what they want in
their lives...


1. Acquisition - "I call 'em like they are"

In the Acquisition model of the world, the stuff of life is out
there and your job is to go out and get it. Acquisition-based
thinkers often see life as a case of the "have's" vs. the
"have-nots", and shift between the roles of hero and victim in a
"dog eat dog" world.


2. Attraction - "I call 'em like I see 'em"

The movie (and subsequent book) "The Secret" is one of the most
popular ever presentations of the ancient principle that "like
attracts like". Attraction-based thinkers recognize that, as
Hamlet said, "There is nothing either good or bad but thinking
makes it so".

While this can lead to a considerably more positive experience
of the world, where the attraction model tends to break down is
when people attempt to control that world by controlling their
thoughts.

Over the past sixteen years or so, I've noticed that this
inner-directed battle for positive without negative and good
without bad has one major flaw: no one I've ever met (including
most of the teachers in "The Secret") can actually pull it off
for any length of time.

This doesn't point to a lack of sincerity on their part - it's
just that as long as you are at war within yourself, no matter
how noble the cause, it is impossible to experience peace.

(You can read more of my thoughts on the benefits and pitfalls
of "The Secret" at http://www.geniuscatalyst.com/secret.php)


3. Creation - "They ain't nothin' until I call 'em!"

A woman who wanted to hire me as her coach told me that she had
been deeply inspired by "The Secret" and had already applied
its teachings to attract herself a new job, a great apartment,
and a boyfriend who, in her words, "actually seems to really
like me".

When I asked her what she hoped to get out of our work together,
she went quiet for a few moments before somewhat shyly telling
me "I'm terrified that it will stop working and I'll go back to
being miserable and alone".

And therein lies the fundamental difference between these three
models of success:

*Acquisition-based thinking places the power outside of us in
the visible, physical world. If we want some of that power for
ourselves, we need to go out and get it. When we don't get
what we want, it's either because the world is rigged against
people like us or we just didn't try hard enough.

*Attraction-based thinking places the power outside of us in the
invisible, metaphysical world. If we want to tap into that
power, we need to align our thoughts, feelings, intentions and
desires. When we don't get what we want, it's either because
God/The Universe has a higher plan for us or we just didn't
think positive enough.

*Creation-based thinking places the power firmly inside
ourselves. We access that power through the choices we make
about how to be (our "ground of being", how to see (our
attitude, or "angle of approach"), and what to do (the words we
speak and the actions we take).

When we don't get what we want, it's either because we haven't
yet found a way or it's just taking more time than we want it
to. No blame, no fault, no shame.

I'll finish today's tip (and my writing for 2007) with my
favorite quote on Creation-based thinking as a model for success
in life, written over 100 years ago by George Bernard Shaw:

"People are always blaming circumstances for what they are. I
don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this
world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances
they want, and, if they can't find them, make them."

Create yourself a magical new year!


To subscribe to the MNCT, visit http://www.geniuscatalyst.com

(c) 2007 Michael Neill/All Rights Reserved


Genius Catalyst Inc.

4220 Esteban Road
Woodland Hills, CA
91364
US

Best wishes

The World As I See It - an essey by Einstein

"How strange is the lot of us mortals! Each of us is here for a brief sojourn; for what purpose he knows not, though he sometimes thinks he senses it. But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people -- first of all for those upon whose smiles and well-being our own happiness is wholly dependent, and then for the many, unknown to us, to whose destinies we are bound by the ties of sympathy. A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving...

"I have never looked upon ease and happiness as ends in themselves -- this critical basis I call the ideal of a pigsty. The ideals that have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth. Without the sense of kinship with men of like mind, without the occupation with the objective world, the eternally unattainable in the field of art and scientific endeavors, life would have seemed empty to me. The trite objects of human efforts -- possessions, outward success, luxury -- have always seemed to me contemptible.

"My passionate sense of social justice and social responsibility has always contrasted oddly with my pronounced lack of need for direct contact with other human beings and human communities. I am truly a 'lone traveler' and have never belonged to my country, my home, my friends, or even my immediate family, with my whole heart; in the face of all these ties, I have never lost a sense of distance and a need for solitude..."

"My political ideal is democracy. Let every man be respected as an individual and no man idolized. It is an irony of fate that I myself have been the recipient of excessive admiration and reverence from my fellow-beings, through no fault, and no merit, of my own. The cause of this may well be the desire, unattainable for many, to understand the few ideas to which I have with my feeble powers attained through ceaseless struggle. I am quite aware that for any organization to reach its goals, one man must do the thinking and directing and generally bear the responsibility. But the led must not be coerced, they must be able to choose their leader. In my opinion, an autocratic system of coercion soon degenerates; force attracts men of low morality... The really valuable thing in the pageant of human life seems to me not the political state, but the creative, sentient individual, the personality; it alone creates the noble and the sublime, while the herd as such remains dull in thought and dull in feeling.

"This topic brings me to that worst outcrop of herd life, the military system, which I abhor... This plague-spot of civilization ought to be abolished with all possible speed. Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism -- how passionately I hate them!

"The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed. It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion. A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, our perceptions of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which only in their most primitive forms are accessible to our minds: it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute true religiosity. In this sense, and only this sense, I am a deeply religious man... I am satisfied with the mystery of life's eternity and with a knowledge, a sense, of the marvelous structure of existence -- as well as the humble attempt to understand even a tiny portion of the Reason that manifests itself in nature."

The Mule Got Drunk and Lost in Heaven

Poem by Hafiz
the great Sufi master

The
Mind is ever a tourist
Wanting to touch and buy new things
Then toss them into an already
Filled closet.

So I craft my words into those guides
Thant will offer you something fresh
form the Hidden's Tavern.

Few things are stronger than
The mind's need for diverse
Experience.

I am glad
Not many men or women can remain
Faithful lovers to the unreal.

There is a kind of adultery
Thant God encourages:

Your spirit needs to leave the bed
Of fear.

Teh gross, the subtle, the mental worlds
Become as worthless husband.

Women need
To utilize their superior intelligence
About love

So that their hour's legacy
Can make us all stronger and more clement.

Sometimes a poem happens like this one:

The mule I sit on while I recite
Starts off in one direction
But then gets drunk

And lost in
Heaven

Playing with colors

How would it be if we were seeing the world in black and white: like characters of Pleasantville. Well, we all know how that one ended. The need to paint the world, add some color to it and make it interesting has existed since... well, cave paintings say since then.

How colors connect in your world? Which color do you like the most? The least? If you were to form your own country which colors would you use?

Black

Black is the color of authority and power. It is popular in fashion because it makes people appear thinner. It is also stylish and timeless. Black also implies submission. Priests wear black to signify submission to God. Some fashion experts say a woman wearing black implies submission to men. Black outfits can also be overpowering, or make the wearer seem aloof or evil. Villains, such as Dracula, often wear black.

White

Brides wear white to symbolize innocence and purity. White reflects light and is considered a summer color. White is popular in decorating and in fashion because it is light, neutral, and goes with everything. However, white shows dirt and is therefore more difficult to keep clean than other colors. Doctors and nurses wear white to imply sterility.

Red

The most emotionally intense color, red stimulates a faster heartbeat and breathing. It is also the color of love. Red clothing gets noticed and makes the wearer appear heavier. Since it is an extreme color, red clothing might not help people in negotiations or confrontations. Red cars are popular targets for thieves. In decorating, red is usually used as an accent. Decorators say that red furniture should be perfect since it will attract attention.

The most romantic color, pink, is more tranquilizing. Sports teams sometimes paint the locker rooms used by opposing teams bright pink so their opponents will lose energy.

Blue

The color of the sky and the ocean, blue is one of the most popular colors. It causes the opposite reaction as red. Peaceful, tranquil blue causes the body to produce calming chemicals, so it is often used in bedrooms. Blue can also be cold and depressing. Fashion consultants recommend wearing blue to job interviews because it symbolizes loyalty. People are more productive in blue rooms. Studies show weightlifters are able to handle heavier weights in blue gyms.

Green

Currently the most popular decorating color, green symbolizes nature. It is the easiest color on the eye and can improve vision. It is a calming, refreshing color. People waiting to appear on TV sit in "green rooms" to relax. Hospitals often use green because it relaxes patients. Brides in the Middle Ages wore green to symbolize fertility. Dark green is masculine, conservative, and implies wealth. However, seamstresses often refuse to use green thread on the eve of a fashion show for fear it will bring bad luck.

Yellow

Cheerful sunny yellow is an attention getter. While it is considered an optimistic color, people lose their tempers more often in yellow rooms, and babies will cry more. It is the most difficult color for the eye to take in, so it can be overpowering if overused. Yellow enhances concentration, hence its use for legal pads. It also speeds metabolism.

Purple

The color of royalty, purple connotes luxury, wealth, and sophistication. It is also feminine and romantic. However, because it is rare in nature, purple can appear artificial.

Brown

Solid, reliable brown is the color of earth and is abundant in nature. Light brown implies genuineness while dark brown is similar to wood or leather. Brown can also be sad and wistful. Men are more apt to say brown is one of their favorite colors.

Colors can also play crucial part when you socialize: if that ever creates a problem for you, you are shy or feel like you don't know who is the right person to talk to - screen the ones who are wearing same color outfit as you do on that day. Likelihood that you will have more to share is quite high.

Using colors when visualizing:
Positive feelings: think of the time you have experienced happiness, success, joy, gratitude and similar. Choose one of the events that is most pleasant to remember. What are the images that you see when you think about these events? As you associate with the image (observe surrounding in the image as if you are looking through a camera), make it bigger than life, put it on your mental screen and enhance colors in the image and sounds that are connected with it. The better association you have the stronger the feeling will get.

Negative feelings: think of the time you have experienced anger, fear, paranoia, sadness, or similar. Choose one of the events that is ok to remember but still creates some emotions. What are the images that you see when you think about this event? As you disassociate with the image (observe yourself in it), shrink it to a size of a post stamp, drain all the colors in the image, make it black and white and reduce all the sounds that are connected with it. The less colors you see and the lower the sound is the easier will be to reduce the emotional effect of the memory.

Paint your life with positive emotions!

Goals and success

Check this quiz to find out what is your preferred style in achieving success

http://www.steveshapiro.com/goals2/quiz-are-you-a-goalaholic/

No Complain

For quite a number of years I was working with a company called I Will Not Complain, promoting a philosophy that complaining was influencing lack of morale withing teams, organizations or any groups in general and was the opposite of solution-focused thinking. I loved the philosophy but as years were passing by I somehow found myself in a cloud of complains that was just getting heavier and heavier. Like a living curse people I was surrounded with were also complaining and lack of morale was obvious - within a year I decided to leave the company and look for the more positive environment.

Not once I wished I had some skills at that time to deal with complaining differently but nevertheless it was a great lesson and in some odd way probably instigated my professional journey (NLP & positive psychology).

Have you ever lived complain-free life?
Just as an experiment, try the following exercises and monitor how it impacts the quality of your life.

STEP 1:
Refrain from complaining for 24hrs. Simply allow thoughts to come and go and if you catch yourself complaining simply start another 24hrs non-complaining shift.

STEP 2:
For the next week do not gossip or accept others gossiping. If you catch yourself wanting to gossip just break the state, confuse yourself and say something else. If others start gossiping - ask them to stop since you are on the one week gossip-fasting or do anything else that may help you help them not gossip. If none of these work then just start from the beginning for the week of no gossiping.

STEP 3:
For the next month don't criticize anybody who are your friends and family. Same rules apply.

STEP 4:
For the next hour don't criticize yourself.

exercises by Michael Neill, www.geniuscatalyst.com

Yan Ayi - my no-complain role model
(and the hat clearly states: I Will Not Complain)
Copyright Dalida Turkovic 2007

Foolish Freedom

As part of MentorCoach program (www.mentorcoach.com) one of the suggested reading materials is book Changing for Good. James O. Prochaska and fellows Norcross and Diclemente have presented a revolutionary six-stage program for overcoming bad habits and moving your life positively forward. I am amazed with the simplicity of the stages (precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, termination, maintenance) and how they apply to any issue - especially useful for dealing with addictions.

I am fascinated with a term foolish vs responsible freedom mentioned in the book.
First of all here is what Webster dictionary claims for freedom:

freedom[noun]

1. the state of being free from the control or power of another
Synonyms autonomy, independence, liberty, self-government, sovereignty
Related Words emancipation, enfranchisement, liberation, manumission, release
Antonyms dependence, subjection

2 the right to act or move freely
Synonyms authorization, free hand, latitude, license (or licence), run
Related Words authority, mandate, power; range, room, space

Although there is no adequate theory of personal freedom (yet) the presentation of foolish freedom in Apendix A caught my eye and I have been thinking a lot about it these days. First of all two experiments initiated the use of terminology 'foolish freedom': Calhoun studied wild mice and in his experiments he provided switches in the cages where wild mice were. In first experiment wild mice had an option between choosing the switch that gives

1. bright light
2. dim light or
3. no light

Sensitive to light, wild mice would each time choose dim light unless that was the choice experimenter made earlier. In that case wild mice would rebelliously go for either of other two options.

The second experiment also included a switch, this time the one that turns the wheel on (the only form of exercise wild mice had). Smart as they are (otherwise why bother with mice anyway) they quickly learned to turn the wheel on so they could happily run and supplement for the daily exercise unless experimenter turned the switch on first. Guess! In that case they would turn it off. And that is what foolish freedom is about.

In both of these experiments mice wanted the control over the outcome, they wanted to master the machine rather than being governed by the experimenter. As a parallel Prochaska mentions a story about Maria who had a tyrannical father who demanded to know every single detail of Maria's life, he was involved in choosing everything for her (clothes, friends, college). Maria got married later and at the age of 33 realized that she was controlling her husband in the same way - she chose what they ate, where they went, what they did. Freedom at any cost just for the sake of living it.

On the other side of the spectrum is responsible freedom - when you choose to change for the best of reasons, regardless of what you were conditioned to do, what you feel compelled to do, or what is most immediately gratifying to do.

Have you ever felt like a wild mice dealing with problems at your work or in private life?
Have you ever lived like in a cage surrounded with wild mice?
How can you take more responsibility for your personal freedom?

Buffaloes in Belgrade Zoo
Is Madagascar billboard triggering foolish freedom effect?
Copyright Dalida Turkovic 2005

Delayed Gratification

EQ Calendar - November
The month started with my dream of the red car (again!). By some silly coincidence the second dream of the red car resulted in a broken leg (not mine, but one of the participants of the Great Wall trek) so now I pay attention - red car: slow down...

Flipping the page on the EQ calendar I read about delayed gratification:

The ability to delay gratification - resist the temptation to take the immediate reward in order to secure the larger, optimal benefit- contributes the crucial ingredient in self-control. It is developed primarily through these two abilities: 1) being able to distract oneself (i.e., singing, reciting poetry, counting squares, etc); and 2) practicing abstract ideation (i.e., convincing the mind that chocolate is really edible dog poop). Finally, monitoring and reflecting on one's behavior is essential for long-term improvement in any specific area (i.e., losing one's temper, impulse purchasing, using put-downs, etc). These might include a daily review of goals, journal writing, or sharing with a friend. it would also include contemplation of the long-term advantages.

exercise: google "delayed gratification" on the net. spend 10-20 minutes immersed on one or more sites. share what you discovered with a friend/colleague.

Did You Know? - The Flow Market

did you know that...

we are facing individual imbalances?

at many fast-food restaurants, a single meal gives more than two times the recommended daily intake of fat, cholesterol, salt, and sugar?

worldwide - more than 1 billion adults are overweight, and at least 300 million of them are obese?

addiction to drugs, alcohol, smoking, sex, gambling or work may be an expression of the fact that people are unable to handle presence and intimacy?

the air inside the typical home is on average 2-5 times more polluted than the air just outside - largely because of household cleaners and pesticides?

most people spend 90 percent of their time indoors?

many people remain concerned about the effects of lifelong exposure to the chemicals in sanitary products such as e.g. tampons?

app. 300 million people will be suffering from diabetes in 2020?

50% of deaths in the world are linked to diet, tobacco and lack of physical exercise?

eating disorders affect 70 million individuals worldwide?

partly due to chemical pollution 14% of European couples are now affected by fertility problems?

in 1992, economists estimated that health problems caused by pesticides led U.S. health care costs to increase by $786 million each year?

sugar triggers the production of the brains natural opioids, and the brain becomes addicted i the same way as with morphine and heroine?

12 million US citizens are addicts of gambling?

medication against shyness and an anti-shopping pill are some of the later news from the medicine-industry?

in 2001 the Danes ate more than 54 million daily doses of anti-depressants?

1 out of 4 persons who recieve anti-depressants could have been without them?

in Sweden the costs of stress-related diseases and their consequences was 80 billion kr. in 2001?

did you know that...

we are facing collective imbalances?

half the world live on less than $2 a day - an EU-cow gets approx. $2 a day in farm subsidies?

99% of American families with children work 47 hours per week. 56% also work in the
weekends. 72% work overtime?

the average father spents the same amount of time shopping for groceries as for looking after his children, 24 minutes a day?

it would approx. cost $ 6 billions to provide basic education for all - world military expenditures in 2001 were estimated at $2.3 billion a day?

you receive at least 2000 inputs from commercials every day in the public space?

the average lifetime of a mobile phone is 1,5 years?

in the UK 52.649 incidences with a racist motive where reported to the police in 03-04?

in the United States, the annual spending on private security reached $52 billion in 1990, compared with a $30 billion budget for the countrys police forces?

it is being estimated that from 2010 consumers will be introduced to aprrox. 500 million new products per year?

the western population comprimises only 20% of the worlds total population but consumes approx. 80% of the worlds resources?

only 9 cent of each dollar spent at conventionel food markets goes to the farmer?

in Hungary and Estonia people spends 50% of their free-time watching television?

the developing world now spends $13 on dept repayment for every $1 it recieves in grants?

the anti-spam producers ”Spamfighter” protects people in 207 countries from spam and daily 1000 new users subscribe?

according to a large group of leaders the most important quality the ”leader of tomorrow” has to have is empathy?

the market for ”silence retreats” is rapidly growing? 20% of the people in the world account for 86% of total private consumption expenditures?

did you know that...

we are facing environmental imbalances?

globally in 1998 the consumption of oil amounted to 11 billion liters of oil a day?

by burning fossil fuels, people released some 6.44 billion tons of carbon into the atmosphere in 2002?

the total weight of fossil fuels and chemicals used to produce a 2-gram memory chip is 630 times the weight of the chip itself?

by 2005, consumers worldwide will have stockpiled approx. 500 million cell phones that are likely to end up in landfills, where they could leach as many as 142 tons of lead?

only 0.6% of the approx. 5000 billion plastic bags, that factories around the world produced in 2002, were recycled?

according to a study, the annual cost of environmental damage caused by industrial farming in the U.S. is $34.7 billion?

a comparison of the nutritional content between organic and factory farmed, conventional vegetables showed organic produce to have higher nutritional value?

out of the 250,000 species of higher plants, only 2-5% have actually been studied for medicinal use?

we lose about one plant species every day? Last year more than 70 billion 1/2 liter non-degradable plastic bottles were produced worldwide for the market for tapped bottle water?

a study of over 8,200 university field trials showed that farmers growing GMO soybeans use 2-5 times more weed killer than farmers growing natural varieties?

1 kg of organic bluberries flown from new Zealand to England use 10.738 grams of CO2 in transport. 1.3 billion people have no access to clean water?

water’s global availability has dropped from 17,000 cubic metres per capital in 1950 to 7,000 today?

three generations; grandmother, mother and daughter have at least 18 manmade chemicals in their bodies?

www.theflowmarket.com

Connectedness

My EQ calendar has been on September until today. Interestingly September was dedicated to Change and it took me so long to change to October. Flipping the page today I realized October is about connectedness. This month I took a peek at the whole FaceBook frenzy and got hooked discovering newfound connections with friends, colleagues and acquaintances on this amazing web promenade. Without much effort I learned more than ever about whereabouts of people I used to see daily years ago, once again we are connected.

This is what the calendar says about connectedness:
Connectedness implies no discrepancy between a person's desired and achieved level of social interaction. The hunger for emotional intimacy is fulfilled beyond the lines of family. In other words, connections are formed with colleagues, friends, associates or even acquaintances. The time together becomes richer when there is a shared purpose or a meaningful activity (rather than busywork) that improves the community. Trust and respect are the results of all involved.

6 Seconds has 2008 EQ calendar available now - highly recommend it

Friends, Belgrade 2005

What is your strategy?

I found out recently about Julie K. Norem's research on different cognitive strategies people use to motivate themselves. One is called defensive pessimism another strategic optimism. Defensive pessimism is used mostly by those who try to avoid emotional backlash (mainly anxiety) while moving towards their goal, strategic optimists will see the bright future no matter what. Both strategists are fairly successful and if either group of people would try and implement another strategy...

...experimental research shows that if defensive pessimists try to raise their expectations, or avoid playing through a worst-case analysis, their anxiety increases and their performance suffers. If strategic optimists set lower expectations or play through possible outcomes, their anxiety increases and their performance decreases it would result in failure.

To find out where you are take the quiz: http://www.wellesley.edu/Psychology/Norem/Quiz/quiz.html

Another approach to life is inspiring speech of a Randy Pausch - take a look, it's worth it...

Small Steps

Happiness is made up of those tiny successes. The big ones come too infrequently.
If you don't have all of those zillions of tiny successes, the big ones don't mean anything.

Norman Lear



Small Steps Great Wall Trek
Copyrights 2005 Dalida Turkovic

Just like that

Decisions

The shortest way
To do many things
Is to do
Only one thing
At once

Samuel Smiles

Decisions, Decisions
Copyright 2005 Dalida Turkovic

Keep Moving

A step in the wrong direction
is better than staying
on the spot all your life.

Once you’re moving forward
you can correct
your course
as you go

Your automatic
guidance system
cannot guide you
when you’re
standing still.

Maxwell Maltz

Maxwell Maltz (1899-1975) was a cosmetic surgeon who developed Psycho-Cybernetics, a system of ideas that can be employed to improve one's self image and in turn lead a more successful and fulfilling life.

He believed that self-image is the cornerstone of all the changes which take place in a person. If one's self image is unhealthy, or faulty, all his efforts will end in failure.

Which Mask Are You Wearing?
Copyright 2002 Dalida Turkovic

Begin It Now

Many people sit around waiting for the world to discover them, and that rarely happens.
If you move toward your goals, expressing all your power, opportunity will find you as a result of your actions.
For by riding your energy, knowing and believing your higher self is with you, you will be in the right place, a the right time.
But make the first move, taking constant care to purify and review your life; move from negative habits into the fortress of light.
Discipline is the horse you ride.

Stuart Wilde


Sydney 2002, Iron Horse
Copyright 2002 Dalida Turkovic