Playing with colors

How would it be if we were seeing the world in black and white: like characters of Pleasantville. Well, we all know how that one ended. The need to paint the world, add some color to it and make it interesting has existed since... well, cave paintings say since then.

How colors connect in your world? Which color do you like the most? The least? If you were to form your own country which colors would you use?

Black

Black is the color of authority and power. It is popular in fashion because it makes people appear thinner. It is also stylish and timeless. Black also implies submission. Priests wear black to signify submission to God. Some fashion experts say a woman wearing black implies submission to men. Black outfits can also be overpowering, or make the wearer seem aloof or evil. Villains, such as Dracula, often wear black.

White

Brides wear white to symbolize innocence and purity. White reflects light and is considered a summer color. White is popular in decorating and in fashion because it is light, neutral, and goes with everything. However, white shows dirt and is therefore more difficult to keep clean than other colors. Doctors and nurses wear white to imply sterility.

Red

The most emotionally intense color, red stimulates a faster heartbeat and breathing. It is also the color of love. Red clothing gets noticed and makes the wearer appear heavier. Since it is an extreme color, red clothing might not help people in negotiations or confrontations. Red cars are popular targets for thieves. In decorating, red is usually used as an accent. Decorators say that red furniture should be perfect since it will attract attention.

The most romantic color, pink, is more tranquilizing. Sports teams sometimes paint the locker rooms used by opposing teams bright pink so their opponents will lose energy.

Blue

The color of the sky and the ocean, blue is one of the most popular colors. It causes the opposite reaction as red. Peaceful, tranquil blue causes the body to produce calming chemicals, so it is often used in bedrooms. Blue can also be cold and depressing. Fashion consultants recommend wearing blue to job interviews because it symbolizes loyalty. People are more productive in blue rooms. Studies show weightlifters are able to handle heavier weights in blue gyms.

Green

Currently the most popular decorating color, green symbolizes nature. It is the easiest color on the eye and can improve vision. It is a calming, refreshing color. People waiting to appear on TV sit in "green rooms" to relax. Hospitals often use green because it relaxes patients. Brides in the Middle Ages wore green to symbolize fertility. Dark green is masculine, conservative, and implies wealth. However, seamstresses often refuse to use green thread on the eve of a fashion show for fear it will bring bad luck.

Yellow

Cheerful sunny yellow is an attention getter. While it is considered an optimistic color, people lose their tempers more often in yellow rooms, and babies will cry more. It is the most difficult color for the eye to take in, so it can be overpowering if overused. Yellow enhances concentration, hence its use for legal pads. It also speeds metabolism.

Purple

The color of royalty, purple connotes luxury, wealth, and sophistication. It is also feminine and romantic. However, because it is rare in nature, purple can appear artificial.

Brown

Solid, reliable brown is the color of earth and is abundant in nature. Light brown implies genuineness while dark brown is similar to wood or leather. Brown can also be sad and wistful. Men are more apt to say brown is one of their favorite colors.

Colors can also play crucial part when you socialize: if that ever creates a problem for you, you are shy or feel like you don't know who is the right person to talk to - screen the ones who are wearing same color outfit as you do on that day. Likelihood that you will have more to share is quite high.

Using colors when visualizing:
Positive feelings: think of the time you have experienced happiness, success, joy, gratitude and similar. Choose one of the events that is most pleasant to remember. What are the images that you see when you think about these events? As you associate with the image (observe surrounding in the image as if you are looking through a camera), make it bigger than life, put it on your mental screen and enhance colors in the image and sounds that are connected with it. The better association you have the stronger the feeling will get.

Negative feelings: think of the time you have experienced anger, fear, paranoia, sadness, or similar. Choose one of the events that is ok to remember but still creates some emotions. What are the images that you see when you think about this event? As you disassociate with the image (observe yourself in it), shrink it to a size of a post stamp, drain all the colors in the image, make it black and white and reduce all the sounds that are connected with it. The less colors you see and the lower the sound is the easier will be to reduce the emotional effect of the memory.

Paint your life with positive emotions!

Goals and success

Check this quiz to find out what is your preferred style in achieving success

http://www.steveshapiro.com/goals2/quiz-are-you-a-goalaholic/

No Complain

For quite a number of years I was working with a company called I Will Not Complain, promoting a philosophy that complaining was influencing lack of morale withing teams, organizations or any groups in general and was the opposite of solution-focused thinking. I loved the philosophy but as years were passing by I somehow found myself in a cloud of complains that was just getting heavier and heavier. Like a living curse people I was surrounded with were also complaining and lack of morale was obvious - within a year I decided to leave the company and look for the more positive environment.

Not once I wished I had some skills at that time to deal with complaining differently but nevertheless it was a great lesson and in some odd way probably instigated my professional journey (NLP & positive psychology).

Have you ever lived complain-free life?
Just as an experiment, try the following exercises and monitor how it impacts the quality of your life.

STEP 1:
Refrain from complaining for 24hrs. Simply allow thoughts to come and go and if you catch yourself complaining simply start another 24hrs non-complaining shift.

STEP 2:
For the next week do not gossip or accept others gossiping. If you catch yourself wanting to gossip just break the state, confuse yourself and say something else. If others start gossiping - ask them to stop since you are on the one week gossip-fasting or do anything else that may help you help them not gossip. If none of these work then just start from the beginning for the week of no gossiping.

STEP 3:
For the next month don't criticize anybody who are your friends and family. Same rules apply.

STEP 4:
For the next hour don't criticize yourself.

exercises by Michael Neill, www.geniuscatalyst.com

Yan Ayi - my no-complain role model
(and the hat clearly states: I Will Not Complain)
Copyright Dalida Turkovic 2007

Foolish Freedom

As part of MentorCoach program (www.mentorcoach.com) one of the suggested reading materials is book Changing for Good. James O. Prochaska and fellows Norcross and Diclemente have presented a revolutionary six-stage program for overcoming bad habits and moving your life positively forward. I am amazed with the simplicity of the stages (precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, termination, maintenance) and how they apply to any issue - especially useful for dealing with addictions.

I am fascinated with a term foolish vs responsible freedom mentioned in the book.
First of all here is what Webster dictionary claims for freedom:

freedom[noun]

1. the state of being free from the control or power of another
Synonyms autonomy, independence, liberty, self-government, sovereignty
Related Words emancipation, enfranchisement, liberation, manumission, release
Antonyms dependence, subjection

2 the right to act or move freely
Synonyms authorization, free hand, latitude, license (or licence), run
Related Words authority, mandate, power; range, room, space

Although there is no adequate theory of personal freedom (yet) the presentation of foolish freedom in Apendix A caught my eye and I have been thinking a lot about it these days. First of all two experiments initiated the use of terminology 'foolish freedom': Calhoun studied wild mice and in his experiments he provided switches in the cages where wild mice were. In first experiment wild mice had an option between choosing the switch that gives

1. bright light
2. dim light or
3. no light

Sensitive to light, wild mice would each time choose dim light unless that was the choice experimenter made earlier. In that case wild mice would rebelliously go for either of other two options.

The second experiment also included a switch, this time the one that turns the wheel on (the only form of exercise wild mice had). Smart as they are (otherwise why bother with mice anyway) they quickly learned to turn the wheel on so they could happily run and supplement for the daily exercise unless experimenter turned the switch on first. Guess! In that case they would turn it off. And that is what foolish freedom is about.

In both of these experiments mice wanted the control over the outcome, they wanted to master the machine rather than being governed by the experimenter. As a parallel Prochaska mentions a story about Maria who had a tyrannical father who demanded to know every single detail of Maria's life, he was involved in choosing everything for her (clothes, friends, college). Maria got married later and at the age of 33 realized that she was controlling her husband in the same way - she chose what they ate, where they went, what they did. Freedom at any cost just for the sake of living it.

On the other side of the spectrum is responsible freedom - when you choose to change for the best of reasons, regardless of what you were conditioned to do, what you feel compelled to do, or what is most immediately gratifying to do.

Have you ever felt like a wild mice dealing with problems at your work or in private life?
Have you ever lived like in a cage surrounded with wild mice?
How can you take more responsibility for your personal freedom?

Buffaloes in Belgrade Zoo
Is Madagascar billboard triggering foolish freedom effect?
Copyright Dalida Turkovic 2005

Delayed Gratification

EQ Calendar - November
The month started with my dream of the red car (again!). By some silly coincidence the second dream of the red car resulted in a broken leg (not mine, but one of the participants of the Great Wall trek) so now I pay attention - red car: slow down...

Flipping the page on the EQ calendar I read about delayed gratification:

The ability to delay gratification - resist the temptation to take the immediate reward in order to secure the larger, optimal benefit- contributes the crucial ingredient in self-control. It is developed primarily through these two abilities: 1) being able to distract oneself (i.e., singing, reciting poetry, counting squares, etc); and 2) practicing abstract ideation (i.e., convincing the mind that chocolate is really edible dog poop). Finally, monitoring and reflecting on one's behavior is essential for long-term improvement in any specific area (i.e., losing one's temper, impulse purchasing, using put-downs, etc). These might include a daily review of goals, journal writing, or sharing with a friend. it would also include contemplation of the long-term advantages.

exercise: google "delayed gratification" on the net. spend 10-20 minutes immersed on one or more sites. share what you discovered with a friend/colleague.

Did You Know? - The Flow Market

did you know that...

we are facing individual imbalances?

at many fast-food restaurants, a single meal gives more than two times the recommended daily intake of fat, cholesterol, salt, and sugar?

worldwide - more than 1 billion adults are overweight, and at least 300 million of them are obese?

addiction to drugs, alcohol, smoking, sex, gambling or work may be an expression of the fact that people are unable to handle presence and intimacy?

the air inside the typical home is on average 2-5 times more polluted than the air just outside - largely because of household cleaners and pesticides?

most people spend 90 percent of their time indoors?

many people remain concerned about the effects of lifelong exposure to the chemicals in sanitary products such as e.g. tampons?

app. 300 million people will be suffering from diabetes in 2020?

50% of deaths in the world are linked to diet, tobacco and lack of physical exercise?

eating disorders affect 70 million individuals worldwide?

partly due to chemical pollution 14% of European couples are now affected by fertility problems?

in 1992, economists estimated that health problems caused by pesticides led U.S. health care costs to increase by $786 million each year?

sugar triggers the production of the brains natural opioids, and the brain becomes addicted i the same way as with morphine and heroine?

12 million US citizens are addicts of gambling?

medication against shyness and an anti-shopping pill are some of the later news from the medicine-industry?

in 2001 the Danes ate more than 54 million daily doses of anti-depressants?

1 out of 4 persons who recieve anti-depressants could have been without them?

in Sweden the costs of stress-related diseases and their consequences was 80 billion kr. in 2001?

did you know that...

we are facing collective imbalances?

half the world live on less than $2 a day - an EU-cow gets approx. $2 a day in farm subsidies?

99% of American families with children work 47 hours per week. 56% also work in the
weekends. 72% work overtime?

the average father spents the same amount of time shopping for groceries as for looking after his children, 24 minutes a day?

it would approx. cost $ 6 billions to provide basic education for all - world military expenditures in 2001 were estimated at $2.3 billion a day?

you receive at least 2000 inputs from commercials every day in the public space?

the average lifetime of a mobile phone is 1,5 years?

in the UK 52.649 incidences with a racist motive where reported to the police in 03-04?

in the United States, the annual spending on private security reached $52 billion in 1990, compared with a $30 billion budget for the countrys police forces?

it is being estimated that from 2010 consumers will be introduced to aprrox. 500 million new products per year?

the western population comprimises only 20% of the worlds total population but consumes approx. 80% of the worlds resources?

only 9 cent of each dollar spent at conventionel food markets goes to the farmer?

in Hungary and Estonia people spends 50% of their free-time watching television?

the developing world now spends $13 on dept repayment for every $1 it recieves in grants?

the anti-spam producers ”Spamfighter” protects people in 207 countries from spam and daily 1000 new users subscribe?

according to a large group of leaders the most important quality the ”leader of tomorrow” has to have is empathy?

the market for ”silence retreats” is rapidly growing? 20% of the people in the world account for 86% of total private consumption expenditures?

did you know that...

we are facing environmental imbalances?

globally in 1998 the consumption of oil amounted to 11 billion liters of oil a day?

by burning fossil fuels, people released some 6.44 billion tons of carbon into the atmosphere in 2002?

the total weight of fossil fuels and chemicals used to produce a 2-gram memory chip is 630 times the weight of the chip itself?

by 2005, consumers worldwide will have stockpiled approx. 500 million cell phones that are likely to end up in landfills, where they could leach as many as 142 tons of lead?

only 0.6% of the approx. 5000 billion plastic bags, that factories around the world produced in 2002, were recycled?

according to a study, the annual cost of environmental damage caused by industrial farming in the U.S. is $34.7 billion?

a comparison of the nutritional content between organic and factory farmed, conventional vegetables showed organic produce to have higher nutritional value?

out of the 250,000 species of higher plants, only 2-5% have actually been studied for medicinal use?

we lose about one plant species every day? Last year more than 70 billion 1/2 liter non-degradable plastic bottles were produced worldwide for the market for tapped bottle water?

a study of over 8,200 university field trials showed that farmers growing GMO soybeans use 2-5 times more weed killer than farmers growing natural varieties?

1 kg of organic bluberries flown from new Zealand to England use 10.738 grams of CO2 in transport. 1.3 billion people have no access to clean water?

water’s global availability has dropped from 17,000 cubic metres per capital in 1950 to 7,000 today?

three generations; grandmother, mother and daughter have at least 18 manmade chemicals in their bodies?

www.theflowmarket.com

Connectedness

My EQ calendar has been on September until today. Interestingly September was dedicated to Change and it took me so long to change to October. Flipping the page today I realized October is about connectedness. This month I took a peek at the whole FaceBook frenzy and got hooked discovering newfound connections with friends, colleagues and acquaintances on this amazing web promenade. Without much effort I learned more than ever about whereabouts of people I used to see daily years ago, once again we are connected.

This is what the calendar says about connectedness:
Connectedness implies no discrepancy between a person's desired and achieved level of social interaction. The hunger for emotional intimacy is fulfilled beyond the lines of family. In other words, connections are formed with colleagues, friends, associates or even acquaintances. The time together becomes richer when there is a shared purpose or a meaningful activity (rather than busywork) that improves the community. Trust and respect are the results of all involved.

6 Seconds has 2008 EQ calendar available now - highly recommend it

Friends, Belgrade 2005

What is your strategy?

I found out recently about Julie K. Norem's research on different cognitive strategies people use to motivate themselves. One is called defensive pessimism another strategic optimism. Defensive pessimism is used mostly by those who try to avoid emotional backlash (mainly anxiety) while moving towards their goal, strategic optimists will see the bright future no matter what. Both strategists are fairly successful and if either group of people would try and implement another strategy...

...experimental research shows that if defensive pessimists try to raise their expectations, or avoid playing through a worst-case analysis, their anxiety increases and their performance suffers. If strategic optimists set lower expectations or play through possible outcomes, their anxiety increases and their performance decreases it would result in failure.

To find out where you are take the quiz: http://www.wellesley.edu/Psychology/Norem/Quiz/quiz.html

Another approach to life is inspiring speech of a Randy Pausch - take a look, it's worth it...

Small Steps

Happiness is made up of those tiny successes. The big ones come too infrequently.
If you don't have all of those zillions of tiny successes, the big ones don't mean anything.

Norman Lear



Small Steps Great Wall Trek
Copyrights 2005 Dalida Turkovic

Just like that

Decisions

The shortest way
To do many things
Is to do
Only one thing
At once

Samuel Smiles

Decisions, Decisions
Copyright 2005 Dalida Turkovic

Keep Moving

A step in the wrong direction
is better than staying
on the spot all your life.

Once you’re moving forward
you can correct
your course
as you go

Your automatic
guidance system
cannot guide you
when you’re
standing still.

Maxwell Maltz

Maxwell Maltz (1899-1975) was a cosmetic surgeon who developed Psycho-Cybernetics, a system of ideas that can be employed to improve one's self image and in turn lead a more successful and fulfilling life.

He believed that self-image is the cornerstone of all the changes which take place in a person. If one's self image is unhealthy, or faulty, all his efforts will end in failure.

Which Mask Are You Wearing?
Copyright 2002 Dalida Turkovic

Begin It Now

Many people sit around waiting for the world to discover them, and that rarely happens.
If you move toward your goals, expressing all your power, opportunity will find you as a result of your actions.
For by riding your energy, knowing and believing your higher self is with you, you will be in the right place, a the right time.
But make the first move, taking constant care to purify and review your life; move from negative habits into the fortress of light.
Discipline is the horse you ride.

Stuart Wilde


Sydney 2002, Iron Horse
Copyright 2002 Dalida Turkovic

Reccommend

Biorhythm for the day

http://www.moonwhisper.com/oracles/biorhythm/

Animal spirits for those who believe
http://www.moonwhisper.com/oracles/animal-spirits/

Massage and a wisdom sharing
Liu Shifu

Walk
With Candy and Simba (daily at the Chaoyang dog park - surrounded by the skylight mirrors)

Rest
Listen to body and calm the mind

Inspire
Look into the past and find the best moments to remember, write them down, draw a cartoon, make a collage, send a letter to yourself... or publish a photo on your blog.

Millennium Wheel, London, 24 January 2005, 14:41
copyright Dalida Turkovic

Today

6th September 3114 BC - According to the proleptic Julian calendar the current era in the Maya Long Count Calendar started.

Did they ever contemplate that life will go that long? Were they concerned at all?

For Evdokija

Last night I dreamed a red Mini Cooper or Suzuki Swift. I somehow realized that it had an oven instead of seats inside which didn't stop me - I just thought I needed to 'fix' it. Something like putting the pieces of puzzle together. After I managed to do that I entered the car to find it quite small for me - I occupied more than half of the front while K sat on the side without any complaints. I was wondering where would dogs fit in but totally happy that car was moving and I could use it to at least get to another stop.

Later today
Just now I heard from my sister that Evdokija Sitarica died in car accident. I experience shock at the moment, thoughts are triggering reasons to cry - not cry, remember - move on... Her name meant 'good will' in Greek. She carried her name with her own signature. My mother's best friend... I know she will miss her.

My dream comes to my mind. I chose to share it while others remain unspoken of (I originally posted it on the August 25-29 blog). I imagine their car heating like an oven. Her husband, the driver, survived.

Today happened

Absolutely amazing that records for August 29th date as far as 708. As far as my life goes, today is Wednesday, I am taking it easy and glad I learned old name for Belgrade.

There are no ordinary moments:D

• 708 - Copper coins are minted in Japan for the first time (Traditional Japanese date: August 10, 708).
• 1189 - Ban Kulin wrote "The Charter of Kulin", which became a symbolic "birth certificate" of Bosnian statehood.
• 1521 - The Ottoman Turks capture Nándorfehérvár, now known as Belgrade.
• 1831 - Michael Faraday discovers electromagnetic induction.
• 1842 - Treaty of Nanking signing ends the First Opium War.
• 1885 - Gottlieb Daimler patents the world's first motorcycle.
• 1898 - The Goodyear tire company is founded.
• 1911 - Ishi, considered the last Native American to make contact with European Americans, emerges from the wilderness of northeastern California.
• 1966 - Last scheduled Beatles concert, in Candlestick Park San Francisco, California.
• 2005 - Hurricane Katrina devastates much of the U.S. Gulf Coast from Louisiana to the Florida Panhandle, killing more than 1,836 and causing over $115 billion in damage.

Don't Stop Believing - and enjoy the Journey!

I had a week of low lull. My body was weak, giving up to cold and quite negative thinking. I felt stuck in perception that I will never 'make it', that my efforts are fruitless and I should tame my hopes into realistic thinking how to survive urban jungle, hot weather, ignorant people and many other things. There is no limit in depth of negative thinking once it strikes its serve. Unlike positive thinking (so difficult to imagine and live according to 'the sky is the limit' maxim) I experience downward spiral of negative thinking with most amazing ease. Mind storms with questions What if? and the hell ride follows.

Still, each time the ride to hell and back is shorter and shorter. With some kind of intrinsic awareness I learned to remain open to messages despite how 'realistic' my 'what if' scenarios were. This time message came in form of CD that K brought from Canada. She overheard me talk about childhood tunes that used to get me going, the ones I couldn't stop listening over and over again while dancing in my study back home in Belgrade. At first I couldn't even see what the title of CD was when she handed it to me but once I managed to read the artistic sign the time machine took me right back to the moment of innocence and ultimate hope, belief that I am on the journey of exploring life with a smile and a tune in my ears.

I am back on track!




Just a small town girl, livin' in a lonely world
She took the midnight train goin' anywhere
Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit
He took the midnight train goin' anywhere

A singer in a smokey room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlights people, living just to find emotion
Hiding, somewhere in the night

Working hard to get my fill,
everybody wants a thrill
Payin' anything to roll the dice,
just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on

Numb3rs, hand gestures and meanings

These are Chinese number gestures. Nothing odd or strange happens from 1-5, easy to guess what is going on. Little tricks start happening from 6-10 and, trust me, there is a logic in it (written language simulation). The reason why use one hand gestures for numbers resides with beginnings for the trade in China, the lowest profession of all - as considered at that time. Traders were regarded as unstable, they usually had to travel a lot and therefore couldn't take care of family at home. Hence, the trade was conducted somewhat secretly, using long and wide sleeves of their robes to hide hands that were working to negotiate the price. Here are numbers from 6-10:



Additionally 10 can also be expressed as:



Depending on the negotiation scale one hand gesture, let's say for 7, could mean 7, 70 or 700. If 7 was followed by 2 it would mean 720 or 7200 etc.

These gestures are still used in daily life.

Meanings of numbers are often related to the words that sound similar as their numeral value except for 1 and 2.

One (yi), means unity
Two (er) is related to 'double' meaning that all good things come in pairs (double happiness)
Three (san), means to disperse, release
Four (si), sounds like word for death and is therefore unlucky number. Often buildings would not have fourth floor, people would avoid having number four in their phone number or even apartments with number four would be of a cheaper value than same size apartment with number 8, for example. Some believe that two numbers 4 would mean cancellation of the meaning death and then it would be regarded as a lucky number
Five (wu), can mean me, self or nothing. Nothing in this case can have a positive meaning, related to the daoist concept wu wei (non action)
Six (liu), smooth, constant, to flow. 66 or 666 is considered to be a lucky number since it means 'all goes smoothly'
Seven (qi) to raise, elevate, together
Eight (ba), sounds similar to character that means to prosper (fa) and is hence the luckiest number. Olympics in Beijing are scheduled to start on 08.08.2008. at 8:08:08p.m. Telephone number 8888-8888 was sold for $270,723 in Chengdu, China.
Nine (jiu), longevity or long lasting

Even nowadays, when bargaining for a price, many wouldn't accept price of 250rmb because the meaning is double nothing, while 260 can mean double flow (of income) and is therefore much more acceptable.

Have fun while negotiating!

Olympics 2007 or 2008?

As we (who live in China) know - August brought us to a speedy countdown - less than a year to Beijing Olympics, 2007 thus officially becomes a grand rehearsal.

Beijing yesterday announced a drill to test the effectiveness of the Olympic host city's efforts to improve air quality and ease traffic congestion.

From August 17 to 20, about 1.3 million vehicles - nearly half of the total 3 million in the city - will be ordered off the roads as part of pre-Olympic tests, according to the capital city's environmental and traffic authorities. Deputy director of the Beijing Municipal Traffic Management Bureau said the drill will test the city's public transport.

Rush hour services of the bus and metro systems will be extended to three hours, 6:30 am to 9:30 am, from the usual two hours, 7 am to 9 am.

Civic servants are supposed to arrive in office half an hour earlier at 8 am, and shopping malls will open doors one hour later at 10 am.

Currently, the public transit system carries 31 percent of the traveling public and is the most popular means of transport after walking.

Below - a view of how Olympic mascots relate to Beijing 2007 reality. FYI today's pollution level is devilish 66, skies are clear - only sign of last night's storm and hale are trees that gave up to the strong winds and decided to rest in peace.