Life Coaching - First Steps

Michael Neill's daily tip: On Persistance

2008-03-21T17:21:00.000+08:00

On Persistence

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

former US President Calvin Coolidge

In looking back over the last 100 days of coaching tips, I stumbled across this excerpt from the very first home-study course I ever wrote back in 1991, called "The Key to Power"....

The Ultimate Formula for Success

"This simple but proven formula is the key that unlocks the vault of success; it is the character trait of champions that will take you beyond the threshold of genius...This secret formula was once known to you when you were a tiny baby. You used it to teach yourself how to walk and talk. As you grew older, you began to re-interpret this creative process as a series of tiny "successes" and "failures". With reinforcement, you began to long for the "successes" and fear the "failures". It is this fear, more than anything else in life, that holds you back from using the secret of success in any endeavour."

What was the secret ?

DO IT EVERY DAY!

Today's Experiment:
1. Make a list of all the things you already do on a daily basis, from the basic to the unique.
Examples: Brushing teeth, breathing, writing coaching tips, talking with friends, etc.

2. As you review your list, notice the feeling you get when you think about doing those things. Is it tense or relaxed? Warm or cool? Easy or forced? Play with this feeling until it seems easily recognisable to you.

3. Now think of a skill you would like to master - anything from playing the guitar to flower arranging to higher mathematics.

4. Imagine doing your new skill with the feeling of those things you already do everyday. It may help to go back and forth in your mind between the new skill and one of your "everyday skills".
Example: Go back and forth between the feeling of brushing your teeth and that of doing higher mathematics until you can imagine doing higher mathematics with the feeling of an everyday activity.

5. Set a time period during which you intend to practice this skill on a daily basis. Choose a timeframe that you know you can succeed at - you can always expand it later, as your desire and mastery grow. Example: If you think you could stick with it for at least a week, set the intention of practicing for at least five days in a row - you can set a new intention in five days time based on your experience.

Have fun, learn heaps, and let the mastery begin!

This tip was brought to you by GeniusCatalyst.com and read by over 15000 people in 90 countries worldwide.

Michael Neill's daily tip: On Goals and Moods

2008-03-20T17:23:00.002+08:00

I have been subscribed to Michael Neill's newsletter since 2005. His work has helped me deal with a lot of issues in my life and I am grateful for all the insights. Three years later, I look through them and learn over and over again.

Enjoy

On Goals and Moods

The problem with goals, or so it seems to me, is that the me who sets them wants different things than the me whose job it is to achieve them.

On a Sunday night, in a buoyant mood, I might decide that nothing less than movie stardom is my true desire; three hours into a Monday morning and that seems grandiose, unnecessary, and far less appealing than a documentary about penguins on the Discovery Channel.

Time and time again, what I feel like doing in the moment seems totally incompatible with what I say I want to achieve in my life. On the other hand, the more I try to force myself to "do what I've got to do to achieve my goals", the less motivated I feel and the less joy I experience in my life.

I have, however, found a pretty reliable way out of this one - something that helps me stay on course whilst "caught up in the whirlwind of my ever-changing moods."

Today's Experiment:
1. Make two lists - one titled "What I want to get done today", the second titled "What I want to do today"

2. Go through your list and make note of any seeming incompatibilities, i.e. something you want to do that seems to have nothing to do with what you want to get done, or something you want to get done that has no corresponding actions in the "what you want to do" list.

3. Realise that far from being incompatible, these lists contain valuable inner guidance to the most effective ways for you to achieve what you really want to achieve. By keeping both lists in mind (or better still, on a piece of paper in front of you), you will find yourself getting more done and having more fun.

Bonus Tip:
I get the greatest benefits from this when I check in every hour or so throughout the day, asking myself what I want to get done in the next hour, and what I want to do in the next hour. The more disciplined I am about NOT forcing myself to do those things that aren't on my list but I think "should" be, the better it seems to work.

Have fun and learn heaps!

This tip was brought to you by GeniusCatalyst.com and read by over 15000 people in 90 countries worldwide.

Dawanzhuoma

2008-03-19T20:42:00.002+08:00

She is Tibetan and sells jewelery in Panjiayuan Antique Market.

Today she invited me to her home.

An old room with all essentials in it. Gas fuming from the stove, leaks. Smell of drying lard and remains of leftover food. Supplies are arriving tomorrow.

She talks about her divorce and how she gave up on son, house and all possessions to be able to be free. Briefly explains how divorce is such an uncommon event in the local community there and only if you pay you can consider it.

"I was a successful business woman at that time but he was constantly beating me. Once I hardly survived, he pushed me and I fell down the stairs but I was lucky. It is not my time to die, I choose to live." Conclusion of the story: she just managed to pay remained CNY20,000 to him and is now finally free. We meet at this time and we both mention yuanfen - fate.

Stacks of handmade jewelery are soon covering clean floor and we start talking about the meanings, symbols, Tibetan culture. Recent happenings are mentioned. Once it is all finished we will go and visit her home. Many people got killed, it is not safe now.

Next week I will be in San Diego selling Dawanzhuoma's art and her story will talk for her. As she says, she is a good business woman.

Michael Neill's daily tip: A New Theory of Goal Getting

2008-03-19T10:43:00.002+08:00

When comedian Jerry Lewis used to write in his diary after a show, he invariably jotted one of two things -

a. "I killed!"
(comedian-speak for "I was so funny the audience nearly died laughing!")
or
b. "The audience sucked."
(comedian-speak for "The audience was so stupid, drunk, and ugly that they didn't get any of my brilliant jokes.")

This rather nicely reflects the two extreme positions we tend to take in the world of personal achievement. Either we 100% create our reality ("I killed") or it's all down to fate ("the audience sucked").

As usual, however, there is a useful middle ground - a path that allows us to say when
we succeed (i.e. get what we want) - "I did my part, and fortunately, everything and everyone else came together as well" and when we fail (i.e. don't get what we want) - "I did my part, and unfortunately things didn't work out as I had hoped."

This seems to me to take into account how the world actually works - we can only do what we can do. The rest, for better or for worse, is up to a combination of other people, fate, and all those other things we like to pretend we control when really, we do nothing of the kind.

My theory, which for lack of a sexier name I call "Probability-Based Goal Getting", is built on the following set of assumptions:

1. We want what we want, whether or not we think we can get it.
One of the things we are constantly taught in traditional goal-setting is to set "realistic" and "achievable" goals. Among the many problems with this idea is the fact that by the time we've made our goals realistic and achievable, they often bear little resemblance to what it was that we
originally wanted.

When in doubt, I always coach people to go for what they want, not what they think they can get. After all, in the words of author Barry Neil Kaufman,

"All dreams appear impossible until someone makes them happen."

2. There are elements of almost any goal that are outside of our control.
For years, I was reluctant to acknowledge that anything was outside my control. And in fact, working with shamanic techniques from courses like the Silva Mind Control Method, I learned that I could attain a slight but noticeable degree of control over everything from the weather to the reactions of a Brazilian woman named Constanze (a long story and nowhere near as interesting as it sounds :-).

The problem is that not only does it takes so much effort and energy to try and control the universe that there's very little energy left to enjoy it, but as even the most anally retentive control freak will tell you, "Stuff Happens". Letting go of our desire to control the universe brings freedom, energy, and ironically a giant increase in our ability to impact the universe.

3. We can, through our attitudes and actions, increase or decrease the probability of our getting what we want.
Probability-based Goal Getting allows us to evaluate our potential attitudes and actions against two very simple metrics:

a. Is this within my control?

b. Will this increase or decrease the likelihood (probability) of my getting what I want, either now or in the future?

Attitudes and actions that will generally increase our chances of getting what we want include:
* Prepare, prepare, prepare
* Taking regular action
* Enjoying the process for its own sake

Attitudes and actions that will generally decrease our chances of getting what we want include:
* "What's the point in trying? It's never worked before."
* Doing something once and then moving on to the next thing
* Punishing yourself when you don't behave or when things don't work out as you'd hoped

As an illustration of the differences between "probability-based goal getting" and more conventional "we control the universe goal-setting", take the conflicting fortunes of two great coaches in the field of basketball - Rick Pitino and John Wooden.

Pitino, who was a highly successful college basketball coach before coming to the NBA and leading the Boston Celtics straight into the heart of mediocrity, wrote a book called "Success is a Choice", which put forward the idea that if you just decided to be successful, no force on earth could stop you.

Empowering as that idea was in theory, Pitino found that in reality the Los Angeles Lakers and about 20 other basketball teams were able to overcome his "will to succeed" on a fairly consistent basis.

Will Pitino go on to find more success in his next coaching job? Probably. Determination is a powerful attitude, and does a lot to engender the kinds of actions that increase our probability of success.

However, take as a contrast UCLA's coach John Wooden, the most successful basketball coach since the invention of the game in the 19th century. His philosophy and approach to the game was fundamentally different from Pitino's, and is perhaps best summed up by his challenge to every one of his undefeated teams:
"We may play teams who are better than us. We may play teams who beat us. But let us never play a team who is better prepared than us."

If your job was no longer to "make things happen" but rather to do everything you can to increase the likelihood of it happening, how might this change your approach to goals?

Here's an example of how these two "systems" might differ. Note that both approaches have similarities and both may work (i.e. you get what you were going for), but imagine how your experience of going for and getting what you want would be different in each example...

Example - Earning a million dollars
a. Control-based goal-setting:
My goal is to earn one million dollars by the end of 2005. I will do this by:
*Talking about it as if I've already got it, with a great deal of certainty in my voice and manner.
*Looking for an opportunity that has the potential for me to earn a million dollars
*Working as hard as it takes to overcome any obstacles or people in my path
*Doing whatever it takes to get where I want to go
*In the words of Hannibal, "We will either find a way, or make one."

b. Probability-based goal getting:
I want to earn a million dollars by the end of 2005. Things I can do/think to increase the likelihood of it happening include:
*Choosing an opportunity with high-earnings potential
*Choosing an opportunity I will really enjoy pursuing, because a) what I enjoy I will naturally do more of, and b) if for some reason beyond my control I don't succeed, I will at least have had a great time going for it!
*Doing all I can to master the relevant skill sets
*Look for people to help me succeed and with whom I can share my journey - teachers, peers, coaches, models and mentors
In the words of Barry Neil Kaufman, "I will go for what I want, in spite of the evidence."

Today's Experiment:
You can do this one of your current goals or you can start from scratch.
Adapt the experiment to suit your situation...

1. What is it that you really want?

2. Which elements of that are entirely up to you? Which elements are
dependent on people or things outside your control?

3. What are some attitudes or "working premises" you could adopt to make it
more likely that you will get what you want? What are some attitudes or
"working premises" it might be useful to let go of?

4. Create an initial action list based on those things within your control
that would make it more likely for you to succeed. As new ideas come up,
ask yourself:

a. Is this within my control? (if not, look for what aspect or element of
it is within your control)

b. Will this increase the likelihood of my getting what I want, either now
or in the future?

Have fun, learn heaps, and remember - applying what you've learned today
will have a profound impact on your future... probably!

This tip was brought to you by GeniusCatalyst.com and read by over 15000 people in 90 countries worldwide.

Tip of the Day

2008-03-14T11:49:00.001+08:00

Michael Neill's Tip of the Day

I'll be honest with you - I'm a lousy meditator. For me, meditation falls into the category of one of those things I know is supposed to be so good for me that my "inner teenager" rebels against the whole idea of it. One meditation powerful enough to mature my inner teenager ("maturity" being defined as being willing to do what you want even if your parents want you to do it as well :-) comes from India via Wayne Dyer - you can read more about it in the book Manifest your Destiny (there's an excellent Nightingale-Conant tape set as well!) He recommends doing it every day for twenty minutes at sunrise and twenty minutes at sundown. While I'm sure this is an excellent discipline, I've gotten some pretty phenomenal results (money, new clients, acting work, etc.) doing it erratically for as long as I feel like it whenever I happen to remember. Here's how it works....

Morning Meditation
1. Breathe in with your attention on your perineum (between the front of your bottom and the back of your bottom is about as nice as I can say it!)

2. Exhale on the sound "Aaaaaah" with your attention on your "third eye", the point between your eyebrows. (That's "aaaaaaah" as in God, Father, Ja, Adonai, and just about any other culture's name for God you can think of!)

3. As you do this, think about all the things you want in your life as if you've already received them. (The better this feels, the better it works!)

4. Continue for as long as you like. Gradually get softer and softer until the "aaaaah" is silent. Keep shifting your attention between the perineum and third eye as you breathe, and maintain the feeling of already having what it is that you want.

5. When you are ready, allow the "aaaaah"s to get louder and louder until you are back to full volume.

6. Finish with the word "Sha-Lom", which is both the hebrew word for peace and a combination of the sound of God ("aaaaah") and the sound of the universe ("aum").

Evening Meditation
1. Breathe in with your attention on your perineum (between the front of your bottom and the back of your bottom is still about as nice as I can say it!)

2. Exhale on the sound "Aum" with your attention on your "third eye", the point between your eyebrows. (The sound "aum" is believed in many cultures to be the noise you will hear the universe making if you ever get really, really quiet!)

3. As you do this, think with gratitude and appreciation about all the things you want in your life that you already have. (The better this feels, the better it works!)

4. Continue for as long as you like. Gradually get softer and softer until the "aum" is silent. Keep shifting your attention between the perineum and third eye as you breathe, and maintain the feeling of gratitude and appreciation for already having what it is that you want.

5. When you are ready, allow the "aum"s to get louder and louder until you are back to full volume. 6. Finish with the word "Shah-Lom", which is both the hebrew word for peace and a combination of the sound of God ("aaaaah") and the sound of the universe ("om").

Have fun (and let me know what you're manifesting!)

This tip was brought to you by GeniusCatalyst.com and read by over 15000 people in 90 countries worldwide.

Response

2008-03-12T09:56:00.003+08:00

Messages are reaching my humble cyberspace. Thanks for the thoughts, muse inspires the day.

Morning

She opened the shutters.She hung the sheets over the sill.
She saw the day.
A bird looked at her straight in the eyes.
'I am alone,' she whispered. 'I am alive.' She entered the room. The mirror too is a window.
If I jump from it I will fall into my arms.
-Yannis Ritsos

Huxley's "Brave New World"
"Chronic remorse, as all the Moralists are agreed, is a most undesirable sentiment. If you have behaved badly, repent, make what amends you can and address yourself to the task of behaving better next time. On no account brood over your wrong doing. Rolling in the muck is not the best way of getting clean."

Gain and Loss

2008-03-10T10:42:00.003+08:00

Gain and Loss
Lingyuan said to the Confucian sage Chen Yi:

Calamity can produce fortune, fortune can produce calamity. This is because when one is in situations of disaster and danger, one is earnest in taking thought for safety, and when one is deeply immersed in seeking out order, one is capable of seriousness and discretion – therefore good fortune is born, and it is fitting.
When fortune produces calamity, it is because when living in tranquility people indulge their greed and laziness, and are mostly scornful and arrogant – therefore calamity is born.
A sage said, “Having many difficulties perfects the will’ having no difficulties ruins the being.”
Gain is the edge of loss, loss is the heart of gain. Therefore blessings cannot visit over and over again, one cannot always hope for gain. When you are in a fortunate situation and so consider calamity, then that fortune can be preserved; when you see gain and consider loss, then that gain will surely arrive.
Therefore a superior person is one who when safe does not forget danger, and who In times of order does not forget about disorder.

This too shall pass

For 7 years I have lived avoiding the memory of my past, dealing with decisions I made in my twenties. I wrapped my thoughts in guilt, thought I had to change completely, discarded what I thought were mistakes and learned how to live a completely new life. I was hibernating like a bear in the cave, going deep inside and regretting over and over again for what happened in the past.

As life moved on, following the birth of new me I thought I achieved all I ever wanted: work was great, I was in a long term relationship, married, dogs, great apartment, all I ever thought was happiness was part of my life. However, the more I looked outside the more I felt inside: I was not happy – I was confused and angry, nothing to hold on to. I hired a coach, I worked some more on polishing my life and a year later I am at the edge of the new beginning. I am going through a divorce, break up of a 7 year relationship, reorganizing my life and seeing the full cycle. This too shall pass, this too shall pass – a mantra that brings insight into natural laws and seasonal change.

Maintaining focus on what you want

Like in the story of Gain and Loss I embrace what it is now. Loss is seemingly present but above all it is all just about the habit of living with somebody, having somebody’s presence daily without questioning or doubt in its existence – the end was approaching steadily, it didn’t happen over night. I am learning how much I lost my own self, decisions were always made in twos, in consideration of how not to hurt, how to mold, adjust. And there, one day, two souls have awaken and asked in each other’s solitude: is this truly what I want? Answer the same for both of us. If the loss of pattern and habit is what it is now, I look at the gains comparable only to ultimate freedom, responsibility to self, courage to love and be loved.

Moving on, exercises for peace and presence
1. Three times a day put your hand on your physical heart, get connected and ask: what is it that I can do right now to listen to my heart and follow its guidance. Listen to messages, voices, emotions and follow the guidance.

2. Write a list of things you’ve been wanted to do but have been procrastinating on. Take one step at the time and keep filling your life with excitement and new adventures.

3. When emotions arise, get in tune and define what it is exactly you feel and ask yourself:

• What is the worst that may happen out of this?
• What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?
• How will you feel in 1 month from now for making this decision? A year? How about 10 years from now? Will it matter?

with love

Dalida

HAPPY YEAR OF THE RAT FROM BEIJING

2008-02-06T20:19:00.000+08:00

The Secret of Health

2008-01-16T11:12:00.001+08:00

Expectations

2008-01-15T14:39:00.000+08:00

What belief do you live by:

have high expectations from the start, at least you will know immediately if it is not happening the way you wanted
have low expectations, you like being surprised with the better outcomes
no expectations are the best - live in the moment

There is no expert profiling out of your choice with an exception that you may now be aware that you do have a choice what and how to expect from life. If you have chosen the second option only because you have been burnt in the past stop and reflect on the reasons your expectations didn't match the reality. Could it be that you didn't have skills needed to match your expectations? First time ever? And just out of curiosity: could it be a seed of learned helplessness that is growing disguised by low expectations....

Apparently, according to a research, those who expect to live longer somehow do and those who don't - do not. Longevity Expectations and Death: Can People Predict Their Own Demise?
Well, in that case, just for the fun of it and because sacred Daoist (Taoist) books claim longevity is attainable (those were their expectations), revise and restate your own:

Create vivid visual images that include sound and sensations. Play them in your mind, set a regular daydreaming date with yourself and allow your imagination to take you to your expectations.
Notice any contradictory messages that come up when you state your expectations: anger, doubt, cynicism... take pen and paper and write down all the messages that come up. Now go through your list and say each statement in the voice of Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck if you are skilled enough... Maybe sexy voice of Sean Connery - play with it and observe your emotions dissipate

Applying the Law of Expectations by Dan Millman
Acting can become a transcendental art, not just on the stage of a theater, but in the theater of our lives. One enjoyable way to shift expectations involves ac ting as if you already have the courage, love, and wisdom you desire; by looking the part, dressing the part, speaking the part, and acting the part, you can begin to manifest these qualities.

When you want to have, achieve, or become anything, ask the question, "What if I could? What would that look like and feel like?"
Now, go beyond old beliefs and expectations; act out the role you would like to play until it's no longer a role; try it on until it becomes comfortable. If you don't feel up to a task, play the role of someone who would thoroughly enjoy it.
This simple exercise can change your life in simple but significant ways. Try assuming a new role of a happier, more open, more positive you today.

EIGHT WAYS TO SELF ACTUALIZE - Maslow

2008-01-03T14:19:00.000+08:00

Experience things fully, vividly, selflessly. Throw yourself into the experiencing of something: concentrate on it fully, let it totally absorb you.
Life is an ongoing process of choosing between safety (out of fear and need for defense) and risk (for the sake of progress and growth): Make the growth choice a dozen times a day.
Let the self emerge. Try to shut out the external clues as to what you should think, feel, say, and so on, and let your experience enable you to say what you truly feel.
When in doubt, be honest. If you look into yourself and are honest, you will also take responsibility. Taking responsibility is self-actualizing.
Listen to your own tastes. Be prepared to be unpopular.
Use your intelligence, work to do well the things you want to do, no matter how insignificant they seem to be.
Make peak experiencing more likely: get rid of illusions and false notions. Learn what you are good at and what your potentialities are not.
Find out who you are, what you are, what you like and don't like, what is good and what is bad for you, where you are going, what your mission is. Opening yourself up to yourself in this way means identifying defenses--and then finding the courage to give them up.

Going Beyond the Secret

2008-01-02T11:37:00.000+08:00

MNCT 588 - Going Beyond the Secret

========================
GOING BEYOND THE SECRET
========================

"The best way to predict the future is to create it."
-Peter Drucker

There is an old joke about three baseball umpires who are
discussing their strategies for calling balls and strikes.

The first umpire says, somewhat defensively, "I call 'em like
they are."

The second umpire shrugs his shoulders and says "Well, I call
'em like I see 'em."

The third umpire smiles knowingly at his colleagues. "You guys
have got it all wrong - they ain't nothin' until I call 'em!"

Strange as it may seem, these three approaches to judging the
accuracy of a pitched baseball correspond quite neatly to the
three main ways people approach going for what they want in
their lives...

1. Acquisition - "I call 'em like they are"

In the Acquisition model of the world, the stuff of life is out
there and your job is to go out and get it. Acquisition-based
thinkers often see life as a case of the "have's" vs. the
"have-nots", and shift between the roles of hero and victim in a
"dog eat dog" world.

2. Attraction - "I call 'em like I see 'em"

The movie (and subsequent book) "The Secret" is one of the most
popular ever presentations of the ancient principle that "like
attracts like". Attraction-based thinkers recognize that, as
Hamlet said, "There is nothing either good or bad but thinking
makes it so".

While this can lead to a considerably more positive experience
of the world, where the attraction model tends to break down is
when people attempt to control that world by controlling their
thoughts.

Over the past sixteen years or so, I've noticed that this
inner-directed battle for positive without negative and good
without bad has one major flaw: no one I've ever met (including
most of the teachers in "The Secret") can actually pull it off
for any length of time.

This doesn't point to a lack of sincerity on their part - it's
just that as long as you are at war within yourself, no matter
how noble the cause, it is impossible to experience peace.

(You can read more of my thoughts on the benefits and pitfalls
of "The Secret" at http://www.geniuscatalyst.com/secret.php)

3. Creation - "They ain't nothin' until I call 'em!"

A woman who wanted to hire me as her coach told me that she had
been deeply inspired by "The Secret" and had already applied
its teachings to attract herself a new job, a great apartment,
and a boyfriend who, in her words, "actually seems to really
like me".

When I asked her what she hoped to get out of our work together,
she went quiet for a few moments before somewhat shyly telling
me "I'm terrified that it will stop working and I'll go back to
being miserable and alone".

And therein lies the fundamental difference between these three
models of success:

*Acquisition-based thinking places the power outside of us in
the visible, physical world. If we want some of that power for
ourselves, we need to go out and get it. When we don't get
what we want, it's either because the world is rigged against
people like us or we just didn't try hard enough.

*Attraction-based thinking places the power outside of us in the
invisible, metaphysical world. If we want to tap into that
power, we need to align our thoughts, feelings, intentions and
desires. When we don't get what we want, it's either because
God/The Universe has a higher plan for us or we just didn't
think positive enough.

*Creation-based thinking places the power firmly inside
ourselves. We access that power through the choices we make
about how to be (our "ground of being", how to see (our
attitude, or "angle of approach"), and what to do (the words we
speak and the actions we take).

When we don't get what we want, it's either because we haven't
yet found a way or it's just taking more time than we want it
to. No blame, no fault, no shame.

I'll finish today's tip (and my writing for 2007) with my
favorite quote on Creation-based thinking as a model for success
in life, written over 100 years ago by George Bernard Shaw:

"People are always blaming circumstances for what they are. I
don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this
world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances
they want, and, if they can't find them, make them."

Create yourself a magical new year!

To subscribe to the MNCT, visit http://www.geniuscatalyst.com

(c) 2007 Michael Neill/All Rights Reserved

Genius Catalyst Inc.

4220 Esteban Road
Woodland Hills, CA
91364
US

Best wishes

2007-12-28T13:15:00.000+08:00

The World As I See It - an essey by Einstein

2007-12-28T10:44:00.000+08:00

"How strange is the lot of us mortals! Each of us is here for a brief sojourn; for what purpose he knows not, though he sometimes thinks he senses it. But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people -- first of all for those upon whose smiles and well-being our own happiness is wholly dependent, and then for the many, unknown to us, to whose destinies we are bound by the ties of sympathy. A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving...

"I have never looked upon ease and happiness as ends in themselves -- this critical basis I call the ideal of a pigsty. The ideals that have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth. Without the sense of kinship with men of like mind, without the occupation with the objective world, the eternally unattainable in the field of art and scientific endeavors, life would have seemed empty to me. The trite objects of human efforts -- possessions, outward success, luxury -- have always seemed to me contemptible.

"My passionate sense of social justice and social responsibility has always contrasted oddly with my pronounced lack of need for direct contact with other human beings and human communities. I am truly a 'lone traveler' and have never belonged to my country, my home, my friends, or even my immediate family, with my whole heart; in the face of all these ties, I have never lost a sense of distance and a need for solitude..."

"My political ideal is democracy. Let every man be respected as an individual and no man idolized. It is an irony of fate that I myself have been the recipient of excessive admiration and reverence from my fellow-beings, through no fault, and no merit, of my own. The cause of this may well be the desire, unattainable for many, to understand the few ideas to which I have with my feeble powers attained through ceaseless struggle. I am quite aware that for any organization to reach its goals, one man must do the thinking and directing and generally bear the responsibility. But the led must not be coerced, they must be able to choose their leader. In my opinion, an autocratic system of coercion soon degenerates; force attracts men of low morality... The really valuable thing in the pageant of human life seems to me not the political state, but the creative, sentient individual, the personality; it alone creates the noble and the sublime, while the herd as such remains dull in thought and dull in feeling.

"This topic brings me to that worst outcrop of herd life, the military system, which I abhor... This plague-spot of civilization ought to be abolished with all possible speed. Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism -- how passionately I hate them!

"The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed. It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion. A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, our perceptions of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which only in their most primitive forms are accessible to our minds: it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute true religiosity. In this sense, and only this sense, I am a deeply religious man... I am satisfied with the mystery of life's eternity and with a knowledge, a sense, of the marvelous structure of existence -- as well as the humble attempt to understand even a tiny portion of the Reason that manifests itself in nature."

The Mule Got Drunk and Lost in Heaven

2007-12-17T13:53:00.000+08:00

Poem by Hafiz
the great Sufi master

The
Mind is ever a tourist
Wanting to touch and buy new things
Then toss them into an already
Filled closet.

So I craft my words into those guides
Thant will offer you something fresh
form the Hidden's Tavern.

Few things are stronger than
The mind's need for diverse
Experience.

I am glad
Not many men or women can remain
Faithful lovers to the unreal.

There is a kind of adultery
Thant God encourages:

Your spirit needs to leave the bed
Of fear.

Teh gross, the subtle, the mental worlds
Become as worthless husband.

Women need
To utilize their superior intelligence
About love

So that their hour's legacy
Can make us all stronger and more clement.

Sometimes a poem happens like this one:

The mule I sit on while I recite
Starts off in one direction
But then gets drunk

And lost in
Heaven

Playing with colors

2007-12-12T13:21:00.001+08:00

How would it be if we were seeing the world in black and white: like characters of Pleasantville. Well, we all know how that one ended. The need to paint the world, add some color to it and make it interesting has existed since... well, cave paintings say since then.

How colors connect in your world? Which color do you like the most? The least? If you were to form your own country which colors would you use?

Black

Black is the color of authority and power. It is popular in fashion because it makes people appear thinner. It is also stylish and timeless. Black also implies submission. Priests wear black to signify submission to God. Some fashion experts say a woman wearing black implies submission to men. Black outfits can also be overpowering, or make the wearer seem aloof or evil. Villains, such as Dracula, often wear black.

White

Brides wear white to symbolize innocence and purity. White reflects light and is considered a summer color. White is popular in decorating and in fashion because it is light, neutral, and goes with everything. However, white shows dirt and is therefore more difficult to keep clean than other colors. Doctors and nurses wear white to imply sterility.

Red

The most emotionally intense color, red stimulates a faster heartbeat and breathing. It is also the color of love. Red clothing gets noticed and makes the wearer appear heavier. Since it is an extreme color, red clothing might not help people in negotiations or confrontations. Red cars are popular targets for thieves. In decorating, red is usually used as an accent. Decorators say that red furniture should be perfect since it will attract attention.

The most romantic color, pink, is more tranquilizing. Sports teams sometimes paint the locker rooms used by opposing teams bright pink so their opponents will lose energy.

Blue

The color of the sky and the ocean, blue is one of the most popular colors. It causes the opposite reaction as red. Peaceful, tranquil blue causes the body to produce calming chemicals, so it is often used in bedrooms. Blue can also be cold and depressing. Fashion consultants recommend wearing blue to job interviews because it symbolizes loyalty. People are more productive in blue rooms. Studies show weightlifters are able to handle heavier weights in blue gyms.

Green

Currently the most popular decorating color, green symbolizes nature. It is the easiest color on the eye and can improve vision. It is a calming, refreshing color. People waiting to appear on TV sit in "green rooms" to relax. Hospitals often use green because it relaxes patients. Brides in the Middle Ages wore green to symbolize fertility. Dark green is masculine, conservative, and implies wealth. However, seamstresses often refuse to use green thread on the eve of a fashion show for fear it will bring bad luck.

Yellow

Cheerful sunny yellow is an attention getter. While it is considered an optimistic color, people lose their tempers more often in yellow rooms, and babies will cry more. It is the most difficult color for the eye to take in, so it can be overpowering if overused. Yellow enhances concentration, hence its use for legal pads. It also speeds metabolism.

Purple

The color of royalty, purple connotes luxury, wealth, and sophistication. It is also feminine and romantic. However, because it is rare in nature, purple can appear artificial.

Brown

Solid, reliable brown is the color of earth and is abundant in nature. Light brown implies genuineness while dark brown is similar to wood or leather. Brown can also be sad and wistful. Men are more apt to say brown is one of their favorite colors.

Colors can also play crucial part when you socialize: if that ever creates a problem for you, you are shy or feel like you don't know who is the right person to talk to - screen the ones who are wearing same color outfit as you do on that day. Likelihood that you will have more to share is quite high.

Using colors when visualizing:
Positive feelings: think of the time you have experienced happiness, success, joy, gratitude and similar. Choose one of the events that is most pleasant to remember. What are the images that you see when you think about these events? As you associate with the image (observe surrounding in the image as if you are looking through a camera), make it bigger than life, put it on your mental screen and enhance colors in the image and sounds that are connected with it. The better association you have the stronger the feeling will get.

Negative feelings: think of the time you have experienced anger, fear, paranoia, sadness, or similar. Choose one of the events that is ok to remember but still creates some emotions. What are the images that you see when you think about this event? As you disassociate with the image (observe yourself in it), shrink it to a size of a post stamp, drain all the colors in the image, make it black and white and reduce all the sounds that are connected with it. The less colors you see and the lower the sound is the easier will be to reduce the emotional effect of the memory.

Paint your life with positive emotions!

Goals and success

2007-12-11T11:46:00.000+08:00

Check this quiz to find out what is your preferred style in achieving success

http://www.steveshapiro.com/goals2/quiz-are-you-a-goalaholic/

No Complain

2007-11-06T10:20:00.000+08:00

For quite a number of years I was working with a company called I Will Not Complain, promoting a philosophy that complaining was influencing lack of morale withing teams, organizations or any groups in general and was the opposite of solution-focused thinking. I loved the philosophy but as years were passing by I somehow found myself in a cloud of complains that was just getting heavier and heavier. Like a living curse people I was surrounded with were also complaining and lack of morale was obvious - within a year I decided to leave the company and look for the more positive environment.

Not once I wished I had some skills at that time to deal with complaining differently but nevertheless it was a great lesson and in some odd way probably instigated my professional journey (NLP & positive psychology).

Have you ever lived complain-free life?
Just as an experiment, try the following exercises and monitor how it impacts the quality of your life.

STEP 1:
Refrain from complaining for 24hrs. Simply allow thoughts to come and go and if you catch yourself complaining simply start another 24hrs non-complaining shift.

STEP 2:
For the next week do not gossip or accept others gossiping. If you catch yourself wanting to gossip just break the state, confuse yourself and say something else. If others start gossiping - ask them to stop since you are on the one week gossip-fasting or do anything else that may help you help them not gossip. If none of these work then just start from the beginning for the week of no gossiping.

STEP 3:
For the next month don't criticize anybody who are your friends and family. Same rules apply.

STEP 4:
For the next hour don't criticize yourself.

exercises by Michael Neill, www.geniuscatalyst.com

Yan Ayi - my no-complain role model
(and the hat clearly states: I Will Not Complain)
Copyright Dalida Turkovic 2007

Foolish Freedom

2007-11-05T11:41:00.000+08:00

As part of MentorCoach program (www.mentorcoach.com) one of the suggested reading materials is book Changing for Good. James O. Prochaska and fellows Norcross and Diclemente have presented a revolutionary six-stage program for overcoming bad habits and moving your life positively forward. I am amazed with the simplicity of the stages (precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, termination, maintenance) and how they apply to any issue - especially useful for dealing with addictions.

I am fascinated with a term foolish vs responsible freedom mentioned in the book.
First of all here is what Webster dictionary claims for freedom:

freedom[noun]

1. the state of being free from the control or power of another
Synonyms autonomy, independence, liberty, self-government, sovereignty
Related Words emancipation, enfranchisement, liberation, manumission, release
Antonyms dependence, subjection

2 the right to act or move freely
Synonyms authorization, free hand, latitude, license (or licence), run
Related Words authority, mandate, power; range, room, space

Although there is no adequate theory of personal freedom (yet) the presentation of foolish freedom in Apendix A caught my eye and I have been thinking a lot about it these days. First of all two experiments initiated the use of terminology 'foolish freedom': Calhoun studied wild mice and in his experiments he provided switches in the cages where wild mice were. In first experiment wild mice had an option between choosing the switch that gives

bright light
dim light or
no light

Sensitive to light, wild mice would each time choose dim light unless that was the choice experimenter made earlier. In that case wild mice would rebelliously go for either of other two options.

The second experiment also included a switch, this time the one that turns the wheel on (the only form of exercise wild mice had). Smart as they are (otherwise why bother with mice anyway) they quickly learned to turn the wheel on so they could happily run and supplement for the daily exercise unless experimenter turned the switch on first. Guess! In that case they would turn it off. And that is what foolish freedom is about.

In both of these experiments mice wanted the control over the outcome, they wanted to master the machine rather than being governed by the experimenter. As a parallel Prochaska mentions a story about Maria who had a tyrannical father who demanded to know every single detail of Maria's life, he was involved in choosing everything for her (clothes, friends, college). Maria got married later and at the age of 33 realized that she was controlling her husband in the same way - she chose what they ate, where they went, what they did. Freedom at any cost just for the sake of living it.

On the other side of the spectrum is responsible freedom - when you choose to change for the best of reasons, regardless of what you were conditioned to do, what you feel compelled to do, or what is most immediately gratifying to do.

Have you ever felt like a wild mice dealing with problems at your work or in private life?
Have you ever lived like in a cage surrounded with wild mice?
How can you take more responsibility for your personal freedom?

Buffaloes in Belgrade Zoo
Is Madagascar billboard triggering foolish freedom effect?
Copyright Dalida Turkovic 2005

Delayed Gratification

2007-11-02T11:34:00.000+08:00

EQ Calendar - November
The month started with my dream of the red car (again!). By some silly coincidence the second dream of the red car resulted in a broken leg (not mine, but one of the participants of the Great Wall trek) so now I pay attention - red car: slow down...

Flipping the page on the EQ calendar I read about delayed gratification:

The ability to delay gratification - resist the temptation to take the immediate reward in order to secure the larger, optimal benefit- contributes the crucial ingredient in self-control. It is developed primarily through these two abilities: 1) being able to distract oneself (i.e., singing, reciting poetry, counting squares, etc); and 2) practicing abstract ideation (i.e., convincing the mind that chocolate is really edible dog poop). Finally, monitoring and reflecting on one's behavior is essential for long-term improvement in any specific area (i.e., losing one's temper, impulse purchasing, using put-downs, etc). These might include a daily review of goals, journal writing, or sharing with a friend. it would also include contemplation of the long-term advantages.

exercise: google "delayed gratification" on the net. spend 10-20 minutes immersed on one or more sites. share what you discovered with a friend/colleague.

Did You Know? - The Flow Market

2007-10-31T10:58:00.000+08:00

did you know that...

we are facing individual imbalances?

at many fast-food restaurants, a single meal gives more than two times the recommended daily intake of fat, cholesterol, salt, and sugar?

worldwide - more than 1 billion adults are overweight, and at least 300 million of them are obese?

addiction to drugs, alcohol, smoking, sex, gambling or work may be an expression of the fact that people are unable to handle presence and intimacy?

the air inside the typical home is on average 2-5 times more polluted than the air just outside - largely because of household cleaners and pesticides?

most people spend 90 percent of their time indoors?

many people remain concerned about the effects of lifelong exposure to the chemicals in sanitary products such as e.g. tampons?

app. 300 million people will be suffering from diabetes in 2020?

50% of deaths in the world are linked to diet, tobacco and lack of physical exercise?

eating disorders affect 70 million individuals worldwide?

partly due to chemical pollution 14% of European couples are now affected by fertility problems?

in 1992, economists estimated that health problems caused by pesticides led U.S. health care costs to increase by $786 million each year?

sugar triggers the production of the brains natural opioids, and the brain becomes addicted i the same way as with morphine and heroine?

12 million US citizens are addicts of gambling?

medication against shyness and an anti-shopping pill are some of the later news from the medicine-industry?

in 2001 the Danes ate more than 54 million daily doses of anti-depressants?

1 out of 4 persons who recieve anti-depressants could have been without them?

in Sweden the costs of stress-related diseases and their consequences was 80 billion kr. in 2001?

did you know that...

we are facing collective imbalances?

half the world live on less than $2 a day - an EU-cow gets approx. $2 a day in farm subsidies?

99% of American families with children work 47 hours per week. 56% also work in the weekends. 72% work overtime?

the average father spents the same amount of time shopping for groceries as for looking after his children, 24 minutes a day?

it would approx. cost $ 6 billions to provide basic education for all - world military expenditures in 2001 were estimated at $2.3 billion a day?

you receive at least 2000 inputs from commercials every day in the public space?

the average lifetime of a mobile phone is 1,5 years?

in the UK 52.649 incidences with a racist motive where reported to the police in 03-04?

in the United States, the annual spending on private security reached $52 billion in 1990, compared with a $30 billion budget for the countrys police forces?

it is being estimated that from 2010 consumers will be introduced to aprrox. 500 million new products per year?

the western population comprimises only 20% of the worlds total population but consumes approx. 80% of the worlds resources?

only 9 cent of each dollar spent at conventionel food markets goes to the farmer?

in Hungary and Estonia people spends 50% of their free-time watching television?

the developing world now spends $13 on dept repayment for every $1 it recieves in grants?

the anti-spam producers ”Spamfighter” protects people in 207 countries from spam and daily 1000 new users subscribe?

according to a large group of leaders the most important quality the ”leader of tomorrow” has to have is empathy?

the market for ”silence retreats” is rapidly growing? 20% of the people in the world account for 86% of total private consumption expenditures?

did you know that...

we are facing environmental imbalances?

globally in 1998 the consumption of oil amounted to 11 billion liters of oil a day?

by burning fossil fuels, people released some 6.44 billion tons of carbon into the atmosphere in 2002?

the total weight of fossil fuels and chemicals used to produce a 2-gram memory chip is 630 times the weight of the chip itself?

by 2005, consumers worldwide will have stockpiled approx. 500 million cell phones that are likely to end up in landfills, where they could leach as many as 142 tons of lead?

only 0.6% of the approx. 5000 billion plastic bags, that factories around the world produced in 2002, were recycled?

according to a study, the annual cost of environmental damage caused by industrial farming in the U.S. is $34.7 billion?

a comparison of the nutritional content between organic and factory farmed, conventional vegetables showed organic produce to have higher nutritional value?

out of the 250,000 species of higher plants, only 2-5% have actually been studied for medicinal use?

we lose about one plant species every day? Last year more than 70 billion 1/2 liter non-degradable plastic bottles were produced worldwide for the market for tapped bottle water?

a study of over 8,200 university field trials showed that farmers growing GMO soybeans use 2-5 times more weed killer than farmers growing natural varieties?

1 kg of organic bluberries flown from new Zealand to England use 10.738 grams of CO2 in transport. 1.3 billion people have no access to clean water?

water’s global availability has dropped from 17,000 cubic metres per capital in 1950 to 7,000 today?

three generations; grandmother, mother and daughter have at least 18 manmade chemicals in their bodies?

www.theflowmarket.com

Connectedness

2007-10-16T09:37:00.000+08:00

My EQ calendar has been on September until today. Interestingly September was dedicated to Change and it took me so long to change to October. Flipping the page today I realized October is about connectedness. This month I took a peek at the whole FaceBook frenzy and got hooked discovering newfound connections with friends, colleagues and acquaintances on this amazing web promenade. Without much effort I learned more than ever about whereabouts of people I used to see daily years ago, once again we are connected.

This is what the calendar says about connectedness:
Connectedness implies no discrepancy between a person's desired and achieved level of social interaction. The hunger for emotional intimacy is fulfilled beyond the lines of family. In other words, connections are formed with colleagues, friends, associates or even acquaintances. The time together becomes richer when there is a shared purpose or a meaningful activity (rather than busywork) that improves the community. Trust and respect are the results of all involved.

6 Seconds has 2008 EQ calendar available now - highly recommend it

Friends, Belgrade 2005

What is your strategy?

2007-09-25T11:46:00.000+08:00

I found out recently about Julie K. Norem's research on different cognitive strategies people use to motivate themselves. One is called defensive pessimism another strategic optimism. Defensive pessimism is used mostly by those who try to avoid emotional backlash (mainly anxiety) while moving towards their goal, strategic optimists will see the bright future no matter what. Both strategists are fairly successful and if either group of people would try and implement another strategy...

...experimental research shows that if defensive pessimists try to raise their expectations, or avoid playing through a worst-case analysis, their anxiety increases and their performance suffers. If strategic optimists set lower expectations or play through possible outcomes, their anxiety increases and their performance decreases it would result in failure.

To find out where you are take the quiz: http://www.wellesley.edu/Psychology/Norem/Quiz/quiz.html

Another approach to life is inspiring speech of a Randy Pausch - take a look, it's worth it...

Small Steps

2007-09-21T12:31:00.000+08:00

Happiness is made up of those tiny successes. The big ones come too infrequently.
If you don't have all of those zillions of tiny successes, the big ones don't mean anything.

Norman Lear

Small Steps Great Wall Trek
Copyrights 2005 Dalida Turkovic

Just like that

2007-09-20T16:54:00.000+08:00

Decisions

2007-09-18T15:05:00.000+08:00

The shortest way
To do many things
Is to do
Only one thing
At once

Samuel Smiles

Decisions, Decisions
Copyright 2005 Dalida Turkovic

Keep Moving

2007-09-17T15:37:00.000+08:00

A step in the wrong direction
is better than staying
on the spot all your life.

Once you’re moving forward
you can correct
your course
as you go

Your automatic
guidance system
cannot guide you
when you’re
standing still.

Maxwell Maltz

Maxwell Maltz (1899-1975) was a cosmetic surgeon who developed Psycho-Cybernetics, a system of ideas that can be employed to improve one's self image and in turn lead a more successful and fulfilling life.

He believed that self-image is the cornerstone of all the changes which take place in a person. If one's self image is unhealthy, or faulty, all his efforts will end in failure.

Which Mask Are You Wearing?
Copyright 2002 Dalida Turkovic

Begin It Now

2007-09-13T11:30:00.000+08:00

Many people sit around waiting for the world to discover them, and that rarely happens.
If you move toward your goals, expressing all your power, opportunity will find you as a result of your actions.
For by riding your energy, knowing and believing your higher self is with you, you will be in the right place, a the right time.
But make the first move, taking constant care to purify and review your life; move from negative habits into the fortress of light.
Discipline is the horse you ride.

Stuart Wilde

Sydney 2002, Iron Horse
Copyright 2002 Dalida Turkovic

Reccommend

2007-09-07T13:03:00.001+08:00

Biorhythm for the day

http://www.moonwhisper.com/oracles/biorhythm/

Animal spirits for those who believe
http://www.moonwhisper.com/oracles/animal-spirits/

Massage and a wisdom sharing
Liu Shifu

Walk
With Candy and Simba (daily at the Chaoyang dog park - surrounded by the skylight mirrors)

Rest
Listen to body and calm the mind

Inspire
Look into the past and find the best moments to remember, write them down, draw a cartoon, make a collage, send a letter to yourself... or publish a photo on your blog.

Millennium Wheel, London, 24 January 2005, 14:41
copyright Dalida Turkovic

Today

2007-09-06T12:14:00.000+08:00

6th September 3114 BC - According to the proleptic Julian calendar the current era in the Maya Long Count Calendar started.

Did they ever contemplate that life will go that long? Were they concerned at all?

For Evdokija

2007-08-29T13:56:00.000+08:00

Last night I dreamed a red Mini Cooper or Suzuki Swift. I somehow realized that it had an oven instead of seats inside which didn't stop me - I just thought I needed to 'fix' it. Something like putting the pieces of puzzle together. After I managed to do that I entered the car to find it quite small for me - I occupied more than half of the front while K sat on the side without any complaints. I was wondering where would dogs fit in but totally happy that car was moving and I could use it to at least get to another stop.

Later today
Just now I heard from my sister that Evdokija Sitarica died in car accident. I experience shock at the moment, thoughts are triggering reasons to cry - not cry, remember - move on... Her name meant 'good will' in Greek. She carried her name with her own signature. My mother's best friend... I know she will miss her.

My dream comes to my mind. I chose to share it while others remain unspoken of (I originally posted it on the August 25-29 blog). I imagine their car heating like an oven. Her husband, the driver, survived.

Today happened

2007-08-29T10:08:00.000+08:00

Absolutely amazing that records for August 29th date as far as 708. As far as my life goes, today is Wednesday, I am taking it easy and glad I learned old name for Belgrade.

There are no ordinary moments:D

708 - Copper coins are minted in Japan for the first time (Traditional Japanese date: August 10, 708).
1189 - Ban Kulin wrote "The Charter of Kulin", which became a symbolic "birth certificate" of Bosnian statehood.
1521 - The Ottoman Turks capture Nándorfehérvár, now known as Belgrade.
1831 - Michael Faraday discovers electromagnetic induction.
1842 - Treaty of Nanking signing ends the First Opium War.
1885 - Gottlieb Daimler patents the world's first motorcycle.
1898 - The Goodyear tire company is founded.
1911 - Ishi, considered the last Native American to make contact with European Americans, emerges from the wilderness of northeastern California.
1966 - Last scheduled Beatles concert, in Candlestick Park San Francisco, California.
2005 - Hurricane Katrina devastates much of the U.S. Gulf Coast from Louisiana to the Florida Panhandle, killing more than 1,836 and causing over $115 billion in damage.

Don't Stop Believing - and enjoy the Journey!

2007-08-22T14:51:00.000+08:00

I had a week of low lull. My body was weak, giving up to cold and quite negative thinking. I felt stuck in perception that I will never 'make it', that my efforts are fruitless and I should tame my hopes into realistic thinking how to survive urban jungle, hot weather, ignorant people and many other things. There is no limit in depth of negative thinking once it strikes its serve. Unlike positive thinking (so difficult to imagine and live according to 'the sky is the limit' maxim) I experience downward spiral of negative thinking with most amazing ease. Mind storms with questions What if? and the hell ride follows.

Still, each time the ride to hell and back is shorter and shorter. With some kind of intrinsic awareness I learned to remain open to messages despite how 'realistic' my 'what if' scenarios were. This time message came in form of CD that K brought from Canada. She overheard me talk about childhood tunes that used to get me going, the ones I couldn't stop listening over and over again while dancing in my study back home in Belgrade. At first I couldn't even see what the title of CD was when she handed it to me but once I managed to read the artistic sign the time machine took me right back to the moment of innocence and ultimate hope, belief that I am on the journey of exploring life with a smile and a tune in my ears.

I am back on track!

Just a small town girl, livin' in a lonely world
She took the midnight train goin' anywhere
Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit
He took the midnight train goin' anywhere

A singer in a smokey room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlights people, living just to find emotion
Hiding, somewhere in the night

Working hard to get my fill,
everybody wants a thrill
Payin' anything to roll the dice,
just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on

Numb3rs, hand gestures and meanings

2007-08-20T08:36:00.001+08:00

These are Chinese number gestures. Nothing odd or strange happens from 1-5, easy to guess what is going on. Little tricks start happening from 6-10 and, trust me, there is a logic in it (written language simulation). The reason why use one hand gestures for numbers resides with beginnings for the trade in China, the lowest profession of all - as considered at that time. Traders were regarded as unstable, they usually had to travel a lot and therefore couldn't take care of family at home. Hence, the trade was conducted somewhat secretly, using long and wide sleeves of their robes to hide hands that were working to negotiate the price. Here are numbers from 6-10:

Additionally 10 can also be expressed as:

Depending on the negotiation scale one hand gesture, let's say for 7, could mean 7, 70 or 700. If 7 was followed by 2 it would mean 720 or 7200 etc.

These gestures are still used in daily life.

Meanings of numbers are often related to the words that sound similar as their numeral value except for 1 and 2.

One (yi), means unity
Two (er) is related to 'double' meaning that all good things come in pairs (double happiness)
Three (san), means to disperse, release
Four (si), sounds like word for death and is therefore unlucky number. Often buildings would not have fourth floor, people would avoid having number four in their phone number or even apartments with number four would be of a cheaper value than same size apartment with number 8, for example. Some believe that two numbers 4 would mean cancellation of the meaning death and then it would be regarded as a lucky number
Five (wu), can mean me, self or nothing. Nothing in this case can have a positive meaning, related to the daoist concept wu wei (non action)
Six (liu), smooth, constant, to flow. 66 or 666 is considered to be a lucky number since it means 'all goes smoothly'
Seven (qi) to raise, elevate, together
Eight (ba), sounds similar to character that means to prosper (fa) and is hence the luckiest number. Olympics in Beijing are scheduled to start on 08.08.2008. at 8:08:08p.m. Telephone number 8888-8888 was sold for $270,723 in Chengdu, China.
Nine (jiu), longevity or long lasting

Even nowadays, when bargaining for a price, many wouldn't accept price of 250rmb because the meaning is double nothing, while 260 can mean double flow (of income) and is therefore much more acceptable.

Have fun while negotiating!

Olympics 2007 or 2008?

2007-08-13T15:53:00.000+08:00

As we (who live in China) know - August brought us to a speedy countdown - less than a year to Beijing Olympics, 2007 thus officially becomes a grand rehearsal.

Beijing yesterday announced a drill to test the effectiveness of the Olympic host city's efforts to improve air quality and ease traffic congestion.

From August 17 to 20, about 1.3 million vehicles - nearly half of the total 3 million in the city - will be ordered off the roads as part of pre-Olympic tests, according to the capital city's environmental and traffic authorities. Deputy director of the Beijing Municipal Traffic Management Bureau said the drill will test the city's public transport.

Rush hour services of the bus and metro systems will be extended to three hours, 6:30 am to 9:30 am, from the usual two hours, 7 am to 9 am.

Civic servants are supposed to arrive in office half an hour earlier at 8 am, and shopping malls will open doors one hour later at 10 am.

Currently, the public transit system carries 31 percent of the traveling public and is the most popular means of transport after walking.

Below - a view of how Olympic mascots relate to Beijing 2007 reality. FYI today's pollution level is devilish 66, skies are clear - only sign of last night's storm and hale are trees that gave up to the strong winds and decided to rest in peace.

How lucky I am!

2007-08-09T16:03:00.000+08:00

Occasionally I check my junk mail and read through the titles - sometimes there is an odd valid email that gets misplaced...

Today I learned that I missed so many opportunities of winning lottery, amazing business deals and just for the fun of it: I neglected helping people in need - those who want to flee their countries and need MY bank account to transfer millions of pounds.

If I was quick enough to reply to 42 messages by now I would have had $154,057,790USD and £45,250,000GBP

Regardless of missed opportunities I have to admit that I recognize that the Secret works! I am getting more than I asked for.

I am grateful to Robert Zulugan, Dr Princewill, David Scott, Rev Phillip Osun, James Okoye, Lady Rebecca Thatcher, Mrs. Debra Martins, Yamaha Lottery Promo, John Emeka, Yahoo/MSN Lottery, Ribady Nuhu, William Ben, UK National Lottery, Bill Smith, Kevin Armstrong, Emma Eze, PepsiCo company, Terry Belicek, Captain James Morgan, Primus Household Company, Powerball Online Promotion Program, Norton Finance Investment, Julian Brooks Associates, Barr. Yusuf Haji, Coca Cola Lottery, Bong Dixon, Gerald Whitley, Halifax Security Department, Gary Hilton, Joyce Williams, Barr. Francis Hanna, Mr. Sonam Khandu, Stephen Mensah, Mr. Brian Anderson, Mrs Hanah Jack Williams.

Why is today such a great day?

2007-08-09T10:09:00.000+08:00

It started in early moments of human history, by some odd coincidence:

9.8.1173 - Construction of the Tower of Pisa begins, and it takes two centuries to complete
9.8.1483 - Opening of the Sistine Chapel
9.8.1892 - Thomas Edison receives a patent for a two-way telegraph
9.8.1930 - Betty Boop premiered in her first cartoon, Dizzy Dishes
9.8.1986 - Knebworth Park, Stevenage, UK sees the final live performance of rock band Queen with lead singer Freddie Mercury.
9.8.2007 - Two of Australia's largest regional banks, the Bendigo Bank and the Adelaide Bank agree to merge

It is so important that we can play clairvoyant predictions
9.8.2008 - After amazing opening ceremony , the first day of Beijing Olympics competition begins.

Today in Beijing, skies are clear, after yesterday's blue 88 on pollution scale i am intrigued of the number significance: 8.8. - 88, the number related to prosperity understandable only to those who relate to local (Chinese) culture.

May you have a prosperous day, the day after

Blackle - news from Gimundo

2007-08-08T12:23:00.000+08:00

'Blackle' Saves Electricity on Internet Searches

In January, a blogger named Mark Ontkush wrote in his blog EcoIron that an all-black Google home page would save 750 megawatt-hours of electricity a year. What does that mean? We looked it up.

Turns out 750 megawatt-hours can power for an entire year:

-- 77 North American homes

-- 150 European homes

-- 268 African homes

-- 536 Asian or South American homes

-- 3,750 homes in Afghanistan

-- 6,000 televisions

-- 800 microwaves

Ontkush pointed out that an all-white Web page requires about 74 watts to display, where a black page requires only 59 watts.

In response, an Australian company called Heap Media created a Google-powered site called blackle.com. The site keeps a running total of the number of watts saved to date. At press time, that number was nearly 135 million watt-hours.

There's something oddly attractive about the Blackle homepage. We find it calming - both in look and the fact that we're saving energy.

Click here to find out more, including instructions on how to make Blackle your home page.

August 7

2007-08-07T09:49:00.000+08:00

Nature is changing its cycles
Hot season turns into a cool one
Occasional rains turn into showers.

Chinese lunar calendar is based on season change, following the moon cycles and fantastically accurate although lately I wonder if some spirited mind should create new age lunar calendar incorporating global warming too.

We are now, as of today, starting Liqiu, autumn. It is a rainy day, skies are gray, yesterday's pollution level was yellow 107 (out of 500). After last night's rain the marks on the cars outside are visible dirty spots. According to the pollution calendar we are approaching another rise - how far will it go?

Tomorrow is the exact one year before the Olympics in Beijing, 1 million vehicles are removed from the streets for 3 weeks. Good news is that bright skies are on the horizon, and sun will shine tomorrow too. Celebrate!

August 7th 1991 - World Wide Web debuts as a publicly available service on the Internet.

Some old news

2007-08-02T11:56:00.000+08:00

Did you know that the first transcontinental phone call was made in 1915?
Did you know that first transatlantic flight was made 1919?
First research on 8-hour workday was made in 1920 and women were given the right to vote.
First television picture broadcast was in 1925
Amelia Earhart was the first woman to fly across the Atlantic in 1928
Introduction of first commercial mainframe computers was in 1950-1951
Introduction of personal computer was in 1970
Today is August 2nd, 2007
Beijing rated green 26 on the pollution scale (out of 500) for July 31st, 2007, yellow 52 on August 1st. Skies are clear, after rain cars are not dirty but clean which I like a lot. Today we are on the green 46 scale.
Enjoy!

NEWS

2007-07-31T16:24:00.000+08:00

North
East
West
South

Simply, from all over...

I don't watch the news but rely on friendly gossips about worldly matters. That is how I heard about 9-11, New Orleans and London bombing. I watched the news then and saw what I saw when Belgrade was bombed and then Iraq too. I raised my voice, said YES to Peace and continued to live it - with joy. I learned how to do it and, by all means, I am still a student. This school I willingly attempt for life.

I saw The Secret
I read The Secret
I am reading Positive Psychology Coaching

Learning about happiness, about law of attraction, gratitude, positive thinking, ask and it shall be given, visualizing...

One thing I decided to do was to stop watching NEWS as we know it now. However, I did subscribe to Gimundo.com This is what it says as the welcome message:

Welcome to Gimundo! We’re a break from the negative news, the coarse, the violent, and the scary. We focus on the positive and celebrate the GOOD. Each day in our free newsletter, our mission is simple: provide compelling good news and positive stories that inspire and uplift: Sign up and start being inspired!

I read a story about video games and their impact on child development on this site: Videogames Are Good Exercise, Study Finds

What do I think about that? - Ultimately it comes to a dialog on what kind of future we want to create vs which one are we creating now? I don't know... Are you happy?

Martin Seligman thought of a way to measure it, actually is still doing a research - do you want to be part of it? Check his website Authentic Happiness to register and it will guide you to take VIA Signature Strengths Questionnaire as well as Authentic Happiness Questionnaire. There are many more for you to play, the latter I mentioned gives you only overview how you compare to others regarding authentic happiness. Just by answering the questions you will understand what is the reference they use when looking for happiness. VIA Questionnaire is great insight into strengths you use as your decision making strategy, it helps you see new options and increased number of choices. Enjoy!

Gang Fang School Flag Raising Ceremony
November 8th, 2005
Copyright Dalida Turkovic

In memory of the best time in school :D

2007-07-26T14:08:00.001+08:00

Believe!

2007-07-17T13:49:00.000+08:00

When you feel like facing walls
and they seem too tall to jump over,
walk around them

When you feel like facing a wall
and it seems too long to walk around it
step up and don't be afraid of seeing what is on the other side

If your wall is too tall and too long to even think of any possibility to go beyond it -
find a pleasant spot in your mind or just by the wall
and daydream of what you would really really
like to see on the other side.

If Truman could do it, so can you!

No matter who watches,
no matter how many times you fail -
keep doing it,
keep moving,
despite sadness,
despite madness.

Enjoy the journey!

Everything else
will take care of itself.

Embracing My Shadow

2007-07-05T12:24:00.000+08:00

In connection with superhero mode (see the previous post), just to balance it out, here I am as a super villain...
You are Lex Luthor

Lex Luthor		69%
Dr. Doom		62%
Apocalypse		60%
The Joker		57%
Magneto		55%
Mystique		54%
Poison Ivy		50%
Green Goblin		46%
Dark Phoenix		45%
Kingpin		44%
Venom		44%
Juggernaut		42%
Two-Face		42%
Catwoman		41%
Mr. Freeze		40%
Riddler		29%

A brilliant businessman on a quest for world domination and the self-proclaimed greatest criminal mind of our time!

Click here to take the "Which Super Villain are you?" quiz...

Personality

Superman himself acknowledged that the Silver Age Luthor was a man of his word who would honor promises he made. Lex is a man who prefers to follow his own personal code; on occasion, he came to the aid of innocents even when doing so would lead to his capture and inevitable return to prison. Shamed by his criminal acts, Lex's parents, Jules and Arlene, disowned him, moved away and changed their name to the anagram "Thorul". Luthor had a younger blond sister, Lena, an empath who grew up unaware of her familial connection with the noted villain. Protective of his sister, Luthor took measures to hide his fraternity, and had been assisted towards this end by both Superman and Supergirl. Luthor considered Albert Einstein a great personal idol, and would make a special effort to escape prison around the anniversary of Einstein's birthday each year, and visit places of significance in Einstein's life.

I want to be a superhero

2007-07-05T11:53:00.000+08:00

While doing a simple exercise on evaluating my (business) service in three areas of benefit, uniqueness, visibility and story I realized my visibility reached lame 2 points (out of 10) in all areas of my business: Adventure, Coaching and Community. No wonder! It was just two months ago, maybe three that I decided to be Violet from the Incredibles, focus on my energy field, increase it as much as I can, huff it, puff it... and be invisible.

The magic of internet and search engines brought me to this website (I just typed superheros) and the following website came out Which Super Hero Are You. Few minutes later I learned

You are Green Lantern

Green Lantern		80%
Superman		70%
Hulk		55%
Catwoman		55%
Batman		50%
Supergirl		48%
Robin		43%
Wonder Woman		38%
Spider-Man		35%
The Flash		35%
Iron Man		35%

Hot-headed. You have strong
will power and a good imagination.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

In Wikipedia it says:

Powers and abilities

Main article: Power ring (weapon)

All Green Lanterns wield a power ring that can generate a variety of effects and energy constructs, sustained purely by the ring wearer's strength of will. The greater the user's willpower, the more effective the ring. The limits of the power ring's abilities are not clearly defined and it has been referred to as "the most powerful weapon in the universe" on more than one occasion. Across the years, the ring has been shown capable of accomplishing anything within the imagination of the ring bearer. Often the rings are used to form solid-light constructs, the power and size of which are limited only by the ring-bearer's willpower. Stories in 2006 retconned the ring's longtime lack of effect on yellow objects, stating that the ring-bearer need only feel fear and overcome it in order to affect yellow objects.

Power rings of various wielders have exhibited (but are not limited to) the following:

Plasma based constructs limited to the willpower of the bearer.
Semi-sentient computers, including Book of Oa reference, from laws to the history of the universe.
Flight across the cosmos through wormholes.
Time travel
Finite power source, but no longer limited to 24 hours. Kyle Rayner's ring was the first ring to absorb more power than originally thought, having stored the main power battery's energy following its explosion on Oa.
Universal Translator
Force field generation.
Radiation simulation, including Kryptonite.
Generate "earplugs" to facilitate telepathic communication.^[3]
Kyle Rayner suggested, during the battle with Alex Nero, that the ring can split atoms.
Upon death of the wielder, the ring automatically looks for a replacement.
Green Lantern: Rebirth revealed that only a certain type of willpower can use the ring effectively, as evidenced when Green Arrow's "cynical" willpower barely allows him to generate a single arrow and leaves him exhausted after this feat.

A Chinese Story

2007-07-05T11:35:00.000+08:00

A long time ago in China , a girl named Li-Li got married & went to live with her husband and mother-in-law. In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn't get along with her mother-in-law at all. Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law's habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly.

Days passed and weeks passed. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting. But what made the situation even worse was that, according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish.

All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing Li-Li's poor husband great distress. Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law's bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it. Li-Li went to see her father's good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs.

She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all. Mr. Huang thought for a while, and finally said, "Li-Li, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you. "Li-Li said, "Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do." Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs. He told Li-Li, "You can't use a
quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious. Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving. Now,in order to make sure that nobody suspect you. When she dies, you must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. Don't argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen." Li-Li was so happy. She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law. Weeks went by and months went by, and every other day,Li-Li served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr. Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother.

After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset. She hadn't had an argument with her mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with. The mother-in-law's attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in-law one could ever find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter. Li-Li's husband was very happy to see what was happening.

One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again. She said, "Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep the poison from killing my mother-in-law! She's changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her." Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. "Li-Li, there's nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her."

Parenting

2007-07-03T09:44:00.000+08:00

Simba has been breaking his fear past three days. It seems to me he has fear of heights, he's reluctant to jump off bed or climb up steep stairs even. Candy, on the other side, loves to jump and finds no obstacle high enough to conquer. All other areas of their life are directly opposite - Simba is more daring, Candy is withdrawn and shy. They are like Yin and Yang - Candy likes dark places and spends her daytime mostly sleeping under the bed, Simba loves the balcony and enjoys sunbathing, looks forward to any moment that he can be outside. Candy prefers company of humans although she has certain profound taste, Simba loves playing with other dogs, the bigger they are the more fun!

It is pleasure watching these two balancing their living act - day in day out they mingle their energies and express themselves fully. K and I, like worried parents, wonder what we have done 'wrong' to enhance this difference. Eventually we see it as the natural cycle and learn how to adjust our energies.

This is the closest I get to feeling how it is to raise children.

Candy (left) and Simba (right) enjoying free run on one of your hikes last year
(25th December 2006)

Face Your Fears

2007-06-27T10:55:00.000+08:00

For today I recommend Dan Millman's "Everyday Enlightenment" as a practical guide not only for enlightenment but foremost for peaceful living. I enjoy every page of it as he guides me through important steps of personal growth from perspective of 12 gateways:

Discover Your Worth
Reclaim Your Will
Energize Your Body
Manage Your Money
Tame Your Mind
Trust Your Intuition
Accept Your Emotions
Face Your Fears
Illuminate Your Shadow
Embrace Your Sexuality
Awaken Your Heart
Serve Your World

As I was contemplating what to share with you today, the book opened on Zones of Fear under gateway Face Your Fears. Conveniently there is a section that gives instruction for face and head massage that you can do alone or with a partner:

Work gently and slowly along all bone surfaces, pressing deeper where tolerable and softer where more sensitive. Smooth forehead from middle to sides. Press your forefinger between the brows and smooth along the bony ridges. Massage temples, cheekbones, around nose, lips, and chin. Work deeply under the jawbones. Massage external ear, twisting and turning. Vigorously rub scalp.

This intensive body work is designed to clear away the residual tensions associated with past and current fears. It does not make fear go away, only the tension that accompanies it. By eliminating the tension, you'll learn to keep your body relaxed and your mind flexible, so that you can act effectively decisively, and courageously in the face of fear.

Fear of Misunderstanding:
Ears, neck area, and mastoid bone

Worries and Wondering:
Forehead from eyebrows to hairline

Anger:
Eyebrow ridges and space between eyebrows

Prejudices and Judgments:
Eye socket ridges and muscle attachments

Shame:
Cheekbones

Fear of External Control:
Nose

Fear of Being Disappointed:
Lines from base of nose to the mouth

Fear of Being Disgusted:
Mouth, lips, and muscles around the mouth

Fear of Inferiority:
Chin

Fear of Revulsion (sights, smells, circumstances):
Jawbone

I bought this statue recently in a store for TCM supplies.
Each 'hole' represents one acupressure point, each character is the name of the AP point.
Each (vertical) line of holes represents a meridian channel that TCM is based on.

For all those birds that can read

2007-06-22T10:55:00.000+08:00

Wheels

2007-06-19T12:33:00.000+08:00

These wheels in Tibet are polished by pilgrims' hands who spin them in hopes for their prayers to be answered. There are rows and rows of them, stretching around the temples, in street corners.

I am not sure why I chose this photo today. Maybe it reminds me of the times when I went to Tibet, maybe because one client today contemplated Buddhism instead of Catholicism which triggered talks about religion, maybe because I secretly wished my prayers were answered.

In any case, once upon a time I spun praying wheels in Tibet. The moment was magical.

Out of sight

2007-06-11T10:32:00.000+08:00

It was coming in waves - I first heard some people couldn't view their blogs and then panic spread on Wednesday: massive virus attack for whoever was online that day (luckily I have Mac & remained protected). On Thursday I couldn't view my blog anymore. This is no surprise, it happens every year, once or twice, like clearing the closet, getting rid of old clothes.

Good news is that I can access blog, I can edit, I can view my posts. For the time being it is other bloggers that I can't reach. Once again China closes its walls.

Conversations With Turkey

2007-06-06T09:32:00.000+08:00

It came into my dream
just like that
solemnly standing and waiting
for a whistle
and intriguing response

I give it back
remembering time
when I visited home
Beautiful places
engraved in my memory

Summer on the fields
herding sheep or
observing lady birds
will it fly away?
where will it go?
my mom says
it means guests will come

And then she also showed me a trick:
she whistled and turkey responded
with its funny call.
And no matter how many times
the whistle would blow
turkey was ready
to give away its perspective
I tought at a time
it was the most amazing wonder of the nature

Where the Hell is Matt

2007-06-05T10:15:00.000+08:00

When I saw the title of this email I started recaping how many Matt-guys I know and which one was missing. Truth is, I haven't seen neither one of three I know for a while. I clicked on the link regardless and after watching this amazing video I wished I knew this one. Truly inspiring - check it out on YouTube and his webiste (for outtakes that didn't make it for the final cut)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNF_P281Uu4
http://www.wherethehellismatt.com/

Astra, thanks for sharing!

Before and After

2007-06-04T10:35:00.000+08:00

How is it so that
Chinese word

yiqian
which means
before
consists of

which means

according to

and Qian

which means

forward

while

yihou

means

after

and

consists of

which means

according to

and Hou

which means

behind

Chapter 36

2007-05-31T09:38:00.000+08:00

If you want a thing to contract,
You should stretch it first;
If you want a thing weakened,
You should strengthen it first;
If you want a thing gotten rid of,
You should promote it first;
If you want a thing taken away,
You should give to it first.
Lao Zi

Dao De Jing

Tibetan monk prays in the field of clothes disposed by pilgrims
(belief is that getting rid of old clothes is necessary for the new beginning)
Kailash, Tibet, June 2002

2007-05-30T12:20:00.001+08:00

Ren (third tone) - to endure; tolerate; put up with

How simple and obvious is it that this character consists of two: knife on the top and heart at the bottom. Literally - to stab one's heart. The way I learnt about it today: pain is inevitable when you put up with something, somebody. After a while pain transforms into learning, awareness and expansion. Only by not tolerating pain endures and cuts heart bit by bit.

Tolerate others like you would tolerate a child

Can you see any difference?

2007-05-23T12:54:00.000+08:00

These two photos were taken on the same day, two clicks away from each other and except a slight change in angle they have one major difference as big as an airplane.

Mysterious shades

2007-05-22T10:17:00.001+08:00

I like looking up
and checking the skies
just to make sure it is still there
attached to sun, moon and stars

It surprises me
with different perspectives
revealing its beauty and grandeur
solemnly retrieving into the night

Where sister moon
shyly displays her evening gowns
In matter of minutes
it takes my breath away

Prayer and Politics

2007-05-17T12:45:00.000+08:00

I don't like politics. I actually haven't watched more than 5 hours of any kind of news since 1999. News remind me of shopping in China - you never know if you got the fair price. If you like bargaining then it is a heaven but if you like to shop quickly and easily - it is a nightmare that often ends with a question - have I been cheated?

In past few days my email and sms have been buzzing: Serbia won Eurovision song contest! I have to admit I was really happy to hear that and thought - finally there is some good for Serbia to be noticed for. No more war, no more crimes - it is a song and apparently well done. After all, people voted for it. So I googled Molitva (Prayer - name of the song) and Eurovision and checked YouTube to hear (see) the song. I thought it was nice, the energy was apparent and Marija was herself, natural and powerful.

And then surprise: another video on YouTube states that the song was stolen from Albanian performer. No comment, really - I don't like politics. And then news from Serbia saying that Marija won as compensation for Kosovo - how nice, others say that she is lesbian - how fantastic!

Just out of curiosity, I really want to know - how many people thought that Sinatra sold so many records because he was with mafia and how many thought that Melissa Etheridge shouldn't have won Oscar because she is lesbian?

One Flew Over Cuckoo's Nest

2007-05-09T16:10:00.000+08:00

I was 14 years old when I saw One Flew Over Cuckoo's Nest in cinema. Seeing the daylight after the show I gazed at people on the street wondering: Who was 'normal' and who was 'crazy'? How do I know? Am I crazy? (Desperate inquisitive teenage quest for the answer to: Who am I?).

Today I saw Psychiatry: No Science, No Cures

Click to watch

No comment

From May to August

2007-05-04T12:19:00.001+08:00

This month EQ calendar says MAY - STRESS
There are many writings on the page but from where I sit I can only see word STRESS.

I DON'T LIKE IT!

I skip May and go to ... August (had to skip June - Judgement, July - Sacrifice, all sound so negative): EXPECTATION

After all, if I was from another planet and there was nobody to explain how calendars worked, going to Expectation instead of Stress would only be natural.

My expectations for the next 3 months: I feel health, wealth, love and happiness, not more, not less, every day, in my dreams, just despite - relaxed.

May you have a relaxed May

Voices In My Head

2007-04-25T11:37:00.000+08:00

If you hear a voice within you saying 'I am not a painter,' then, by all means, paint... and that voice will be silenced."

Vincent van Gogh

First time I learned about voices in my head whas on NLP Practitioner training with Paul McKenna. Dr Richard Bandler, co-founder of NLP, was taking us for a journey of 20,000 leagues under the conscious and there it was - my story teller.

It resides in my left ear, has strong arguments for why it is safer to stay in the known, not to risk, not to say what I think, how I feel - that is when my story teller is tired and sitting in the corner of my head wrapped in darkness of doubt and fear. There is another side to it too: proud, judgemental and forceful, giving me reasons why I need to push for the immediate results and resolve matters by fighting ego fight.

The insight wouldn't be complete if I didn't discover the other side (as you may guess - it lives my right ear): the silent voice that often says just "yes" or "know". It caresses me gently with calmness and joy.

It took a bit of practice and determination before I mastered the language of two and learned to listen. Eventually two parts got united and became friendly - leading me to the quietness of my mind. Today my story tellers wanted me to tell their story. I listened.

Check Paul McKenna's Overcome Self-Criticism excercise

2007-04-20T09:15:00.000+08:00

Monkey does what monkey sees

2007-04-19T10:00:00.000+08:00

An experiment was conducted - five monkeys in a cage, bananas hanging on the top, ladder welcoming their attempts to grab juicy fruit. Surprisingly (for monkeys only, since that was the purpose of experiment) each time any of them would try to take banana water would spray all over the cage and, of course, monkeys didn't like that at all. After few attempts all five monkeys rested and ignored forbidden fruit.

This experiment wouldn't be interesting if it stopped here - the next step was to remove one of the monkeys and place a new monkey in the cage. Revelation! New monkey went straight for bananas while old monkeys panicked, blocking the way up the ladder. One by one they removed old monkeys and placed new ones in - nobody got sprayed but somehow nobody was daring to go up the ladder either.

That is how the term learned helplessness came to existance.

Hold your breath, similar experiment was done with humans (instead of being sprayed by water loud noise was the 'punishment' and, voila, same thing happened).

Touched

2007-04-17T06:39:00.000+08:00

When being a point of contact for friends and family
When messages say Happy Birthday
When it is about me but actually is all about them
When I feel older and it's just naturally great
That there are people out there that extend my purpose

Love you all
:D

Farewell

2007-04-14T06:24:00.000+08:00

Like Little Prince I watch sunsets
Over and over again

My parents left,
Sunrise by my side.
One after the other
Like dilligent, patient ants
Days stroll their way forward
Bringing the future -
Creators design

I am who I am
We say it together

What needs to be unspoken
Rests in peace required
Nothing has been broken
Just a plate,
A vase,
And and ego.
All had their purpose
Thank you,
Good morning
and
Good bye

Enjoy the journey
Have a safe trip back home

Renewal

2007-04-08T10:22:00.000+08:00

April is for Renewal.

"Entropy" means that anything left to itself will disintegrate until it reaches its most elemental form. So it is with self and relationships. Both need replenishing. Physical renewal is deveoped by exercise, eating healthy foods, and managing stress. Social/emotional renewal is strengthened by building bonds, providing serivces, and listening empathically. Mental renewal is facilitated by investigating unique ideas, learing new skills, and the juxtaposition of the old and the new. Renewal time cannot be left to chance; it must be anticipated and built into daily living.

My parents are visiting and I feel like my personal history is being re-written. I am hearing same voices, similar statements that used to 'push buttons' so many times before. Now I am renewed with peace and calm, laughter with my mom, giggle with my dad and patience, attentive listenning. I hear them for the first time.

Looking back at negative triggers that hurt so much before I am not sure why I couldn't snap out of it earlier. Major realization: nobody pushed my buttons but myself, it was just easier to blame others and find a reason for marginal living.

April seems like a good month to fall in love with my parents.

New love paints the day like Easter eggs.

Hristos Voskrese, Happy Easter - this year we celebrate it on the same day.

Just Another Day

2007-03-25T14:53:00.000+08:00

When message appeared and carried the meaning of Blessings, Body Care and New Love.

Some days are just special for they bring the joy of blue skies.

Today is that day.

When somebody you know has birthday and it is time to celebrate.

When puppy becomes a dog,

When friends share a laugh,

On the way home

From the long weekly march.

Live every moment of it

Light Revealed In the Dark

2007-03-24T10:49:00.000+08:00

Beijing, Sanlitun March 2007

This city has magical moments that can surprise all the senses. Unexplainable euphoria during Spring Festival revealed this site: full moon, sparklies (fireworks) and Sanlitun wearing its display of lights on the top of the buildings - like a peackok opening its tail and expecting sighs and respect from the audience.

The Work

2007-03-22T20:28:00.000+08:00

The Work (by Byron Katie) neatly directed my belief shift. Once, twice, three times...

I want to tell you about three believes that directed my life story:

If I don't eat evil witch will take me away to her cave
If I break a plate I get punished
If I break a vase I get rewarded

And that is where all confusion started ...

My story:

The first story is kind of explanatory - rule by threat...
Plate and vase though, how are they so different to trigger
separate recognition outcome?

Ultimately I know - when I broke that plate I was 'careless' at age of 4.
At the age of 8 or 9 I was dusting and broke vase, so I got recognition
for dusting - vase was less important (and obviously not expensive).

The final logism would be:

I believe in punishment and reward.

which further takes me to conclusion:

I believe that

There is punishment
There is reward

Is it true?
To certain extent

Can I absolutely know that it's true?
Today I got a sign of an approval and it feels good. I got rewarded so I indulge in the
moment. I want reward to be absolutely true - for punishment... I'd consider.

How do I react when I believe in punishment and reward?
Punishment: Tense, offensive, defensive, withdrawn, pondering, figuring
out, proud, distant, creative...
Reward: Carefree, light, witty, whimsical, anything possible,
creative...

Who would I be without belief in punishment and reward?
Violet (The Incredibles), free, citizen of Earth.

Turn the thought around:
There is no punishment
There is no reward

Turn it around to myself:
I punish
I reward

How is this turnaround true?
When I punish and reward I become tense, offensive, defensive, withdrawn or I become spaced out.

How unpleasant!

And what if I believe that:

Universe is Benevolent
Change is inevitable
And I forgot the third one...

Oh, yes

Answer is in the future

Candy and Simba playing in the Dog Park, February 2007
Chaoyang, Beijing, PRC

Tragic Heroine

2007-03-22T07:06:00.000+08:00

Do you see your life as an empty chair

or colourful door experience?

Today I was called a tragic heroine. My story has become my shield of sorrow and determined thought that I have lived life battling and struggling to come out safely at the other end, like a child coming out of a womb. Nothing whimsical about that.

As it goes with life and its mysterious ways I have simultaneously received a message (how kind) to check Byron Katie's website www.thework.com. This is what it says under www.thework.com/DailyMsgArchive.asp

If you could save the whole world from the chair that you sit in, would you? Well, you can. Judge your neighbor, write it down, ask four questions, turn it around.
You move totally away from reality when you believe that there is a legitimate reason to suffer.
Reality is always kinder than the story we tell about it.
I’m very clear that everyone in the world loves me. I just don’t expect them to realize it yet.
For me, reality is God, because it rules.
An unquestioned mind is the world of suffering.
Personalities don’t love—they want something.
Sanity doesn't suffer, ever.
You are what exists before all stories. You are what remains when the story is understood.
I’m a lover of what is, not because I’m a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality.
Everyone is a mirror image of yourself—your own thinking coming back at you.
“I don’t know” is my favorite position.
What is is. You don’t get a vote. Haven’t you noticed?
Until you look forward to criticism, your Work’s not done.
If I had a prayer, it would be this: “God spare me from the desire for love, approval, and appreciation. Amen.”
Thoughts aren’t personal. They just appear, like raindrops. Would you argue with a raindrop?
You either believe what you think or you question it. There’s no other choice.
There are no new stressful thoughts. They’re all recycled.
Stress is an alarm clock that lets you know you’ve attached to something not true for you.
We do only three things in life: we sit, we stand, we lie horizontal. The rest is just a story.
The teacher you need is the person you’re living with.
If I think you’re my problem, I’m insane.
The world is my perception of it. I see and hear only through the filter of my story.
There’s only one thought to question: the one appearing now.
When I argue with reality, I lose—but only 100% of the time.
Everyone and everything is doing its job perfectly—no mistake.
Ultimately, I am all I can know.
Until we know that death is equal to life, we live in fear.
When I am perfectly clear, what is is what I want.
Arguing with reality is like trying to teach a cat to bark—hopeless.
How do I know that I don’t need what I want? I don’t have it.
We fear only what we haven’t understood.
There are no physical problems—only mental ones.
We never make a decision. When the time is right, the decision makes itself.
The miracle of love comes to us in the presence of the uninterpreted moment.
The last story: God is everything, God is good.
No one can hurt me—that’s my job.
When they attack you and you notice that you love them with all your heart, your Work is done.
Forgiveness is realizing that what you thought happened, didn't.
Seeking love keeps you from the awareness that you already have it—that you are it.
Have you asked you?
Everything happens for me, not to me.
We say to others only what we need to hear.
I don’t let go of concepts—I question them. Then they let go of me.
Nothing you believe is true. To know this is freedom.
If you want to see the love of your life, look in the mirror.
Reality is always the story of a past, and what I love about the past is—it’s over.
We suffer only until we realize that we can’t know anything.
You see only what you believe. Nothing else is possible.
I could find only three kinds of business in the world—mine, yours, and God’s. Whose business are you in?
No one has ever been angry at another human being—we’re only angry at our story of them.
Gratitude is what we are without a story.
My life, as it is, makes up the perfect world. Failure was just one more of my opinions, and I am, once again, left as my own living joke.
Failure is a state of mind. Therefore, “it’s possible to fail”—is it true? Not possible!
My failure is my success, and my success is my success. How wonderful to be God’s will.
Why are you upset? You’re believing what you think. Want to get sane? Question what you believe.
To get forgiveness within yourself, give it; there is no other way. To see that what you thought happened didn't—that is forgiveness. Look back at your “mistakes,” question what you were believing.
If you want to have a happy ending, go back to the beginning.
'Thoughts appear; beliefs create.'

Whimsy March

2007-03-19T19:59:00.000+08:00

Whimsical March as it says on EQ callendar. I am not sure what whimsical means
As yourdictionary.com suggests:

adj.

1. Determined by, arising from, or marked by whim or caprice. See Synonyms at arbitrary.

2. Erratic in behavior or degree of unpredictability: a whimsical personality.

A little bit confused I ponder what would be EQ with whimsical personality and I read closer:

Overcome terminal seriousness. Develop a sense of whimsy. People who lose their capacity to be playful are perceived as cold, dull, boring, sad, lonely, tight, rigid, etc. Instead, maintain the playful attitude that comes naturally to children. Work at spotting the incongruities, absurdities, and ironies of life. Turn reality on its ear. The by-products will be less conflicts, less anger, less anxiety, and less depression. in fact, playfulness may be more conducive to the production of peace than superb negotiation skills.

March is almost over - it took me two weeks to flip the page and move from Resistance to Whimsy. If I look at it as a play, I made a first step - marching into new month 19 days later.

Carlos Castaneda talks about the spirit of the Hunter in a somewhat similar style. Only animals that have unpredictable behavior manage to survive the wild (think "Madagascar"). Surprise yourself by acting unpredictably and the world of possibilities reveals itself.

A Window To the Soul

2007-02-28T11:59:00.000+08:00

Beijing - home after holiday. I am back and jetlegged, somewhat sad that I am away from the family and view from my window doesn't reveal snow on mountains. Alps were wonderful.

Before I get some sleep I invite you to see Nic Askew's film for this week.

I wish you were there, I wish you were here...

http://www.monday9am.tv/archive/intro/46

2007-02-12T15:25:00.000+08:00

Way before the March of Penguin or Happy Feet, it was 1999, a penguin appeared in my dream and gave me a message that care for nature was the meaning of life. The dream message was clear to that extent that I wondered why penguin was not talking to me in my waking life. Wouldn't it be nice if, just for the fun of it, it came to me and truthfully said: This is the meaning of life!

Without any further hesitation I decided to pay attention to each moment I would see a penguin as if it was a confirmation that I was on the right way. Something like passport for success. Little I knew at that time how responsive penguin would get...

Thailand: a child's drawing of penguins at a hostel's reception desk
Nepal: water brand Penguin
London: posters all over the city: Where is the penguin?
Beijing: six new penguins at Beijing Zoo 2003
Cambodia: penguins on a T-shirt
Montreal: Biodome
Australia: penguins on the shore

It never appeared in my dreams again, it became part of my waking life and my passport is getting filled with the stamps. For 5 years it has been walking with me as my company logo.

The story behind the logo

I simply explained what the key words were and how I wanted the meaning to be combined into one. The rest was inspiration. Jose Abad, artist, has expressed it all in one Chinese character, the symbol for Dao, the Way (道) and upon the request added the penguin. The base for Chinese words ‘business’ and ‘penguin’ have the same character（企）as their foundation. So logo in Chinese simply translates to ‘Business Way’ or ‘The Way of Business’.

道 – Tao, the Way
首　－　To lead
企业－　Business
企鹅　－　Penguin

Happy Feet

2007-02-09T13:02:00.000+08:00

Happy Feet, story about a penguin who decided to save the nation and convince humans to stop harvesting fish.

Listen to their feet!

The land is melting

I notice, I keep getting back to the Earth - without it not even health could help us.
It's been bugging me, it's been haunting me.

What can I do?

Photo: Biodome, Montreal 2006

Dumplings, Fireworks and Family

2007-02-09T09:39:00.000+08:00

Spring Festival is one of the most significant holidays in China.

It is mostly about

food (dumplings),

Year of the Monkey

fireworks (noisy)

Year of the Monkey

and family (connected)

Family in Beijing

We are now (still) in the year of the Dog (year mostly auspicious for marriages) and are barking our way into the year of the Golden Pig (auspicious for having children, and great financial rewards).

Wild Bore Where Art Thou?
Year of the Bore (Pig) 18.2.2007 - 7.2.2008.

This festival is recorded in the lunar calendar which has been (sadly) failing us recently. It used to predict weather changes so precisely, like a prophecy recorded at the beginning of this ancient culture.

Looking back, there are some basic rituals that are still kept as part of tradition for most families.

Fireworks start rocking day and night even a week before the actual festival begings. This way bad spirits fearfully leave humans alone.

Children receive 'hong bao' (red envelope) with money inside. That way community provides support to all families so everybody gets to celebrate to their heart's delight. Hong bao is also given at weddings, birthdays etc.

Hong bao given at the ceremony of apprentice acceptance into the 6th generation of
Liu Xu Yang Sifu's Xing Yi Bagua School
(Year of the Dog)

Families are visited on appointed days - I usually get confused about the order and 'must'. Here is what it says on http://www.danwei.org/

The second day of the Chinese New Year is usually for visiting the family of the wife if a couple is married. A large feast is also typically held on the second day of the Chinese New Year. The seventh day of the Chinese New Year celebration is traditionally everyone's birthday, the day when everyone grows one year older. It is also the day when tossed fish salad, yusheng, is eaten. People get together to toss the colorful salad and make wishes for continued wealth and prosperity in the new year.

To read more about Spring Festival check the link Spring Festival Today

Thank you for Bamfield, keep watching the stars & be mindful

2007-02-07T16:41:00.000+08:00

Recently, a friend's father passed away.

I sent her a card and observed stars with her

From another perspective.

A day has passed and as the sky switched its starry lights on where she was

She sent a message

Many thanks for the card and your thoughts.
I woke up 6.37 am this morning in the realisation that the veil between the visible and the invisible has gone, maybe for good and I don't think this is about just me. Be mindful.
Love peace and light.

To experience death of a parent is still unknown to me.

My mother says it is a peculiar feeling.

I resist to begin to imagine.

I choose peace instead.

I love them dearly.

February is so short...

February is for Resistance

2007-02-07T10:10:00.000+08:00

I was, accidentally (or not), reading about the Release Technique and as the topic moved onto Resistance I realized my 6 Seconds callendar (based on EQ) was still on January (Self-Awareness). And as I flipped the page February revealed itself with its theme: Resistance.

This is what it says...

Be aware; resistance and its cohorts surface when anxiety is produced. Anxiety differs from fear in that anxiety deals with imagined or perceived dangers. So rather than employ resistance (or any of its synonyms) a better strategy is to consciously make a choice of limiting the stress. Then the negative effects can be minimized. Any of the following techniques are equally effective: meditation, deep breathing, napping, a sauna, escapes (reading, crafting), reframing, exercise, laughing. consider the above to be a cafeteria line. Select what works for you, your family, and community.

I am looking forward to February - Valentine's, Meilan's birthday, Dana's birthday, Martin's birthday, Ana's birthday, Chinese New Year: the Year of Golden Pig, skiing in Davos will inevitably bring healthy breathing and there it is - 28 days go by so quickly...

Imperturbability

2007-02-06T12:44:00.000+08:00

imperturbability
noun

A stable, calm state of the emotions:

aplomb, balance, collectedness, composure, coolness, equanimity, imperturbableness, nonchalance, poise, sang-froid, self-possession, unflappability.

Slang cool.

See calm, feelings

Have you ever been in such a place where nothing and nobody can bother you?
The perfect place to be and it is not outside but within.

I just read (and remember, I am also learning): viscious circle starts with a problem and then...

We become insecure
We try to figure it out
WE want to know what to do
We want to know what the answer is
We try harder
We disapprove of ourselves
We beat ourselves up more
We still hold on to the problem

Beyond the circle I check this long word I have never heard of before: Imperturbability, space of calm emotions. No apathy, no grief, no fear, no lust, no anger, no pride - just courageousness, acceptance and peace.

Oh, I remember, I have been there once, just at this moment and, look, I become...

imperturbable

im·per·turb·a·ble

Run Dalida run + cue for a bit longer

2007-02-01T10:49:00.000+08:00

For those who are born under the lucky star of 'visaless' travel my experience may not offer much except a glimpse of understanding what it takes to travel when holding less privileged booklet.

It was just last week that I thought I will try, first time in my life, to apply for American visa and attend a training held in Orlando. Once a year opportunity triggered will to go and try although, I have to admit, I have been in somewhat stage of helplessness even thinking about the possibility to travel to States.

As it goes with shattered beliefs, after receiving invitation letter from the organizer of the seminar, I learned that I had to do the following in order to apply for an interview:

Pay $100 at the bank for visa fee (non refundable)
Buy a phone card which allows me an excess to a number where I set an appointment (total 8 or 12 minutes available)
Call the embassy and set the appointment
Fill in the application forms
Provide 50x50mm photos (quite unusual format, I must say)
Write an employment letter, stamp it
Provide bank statement of my account

Now, many would agree that getting the appointment may take a long time - however, they said - come in two days, total surprise! Rushing and getting all the documents was just a minor added stress in comparison to expectations for the approval: will I get to go? I felt like a little girl waiting for parents to allow first-time-after-midnight-party-time.

I got the appointment for 9am. I was there 20 minutes earlier, I cued for 10. Once in the building I thought it was just the matter of time, however... I found out that I couldn't bring my mobile in, ok, I understand. What to do?

"Go to the building accross the street, purchase locker key, and leave it there"

I run.

I still have time, I get back and give my jacket for the scan.

"You have Ipod?"

Yes, I do.

"You can't bring Ipod in."

What do I do with it?

"Go to the building accross the street, purchase locker key, and leave it there"

OK, I have the key, I just need time....

I run.

I come back - still smiling gracefully and they let me in.

I cue... 20 minutes, hand documents in exchange for a light blue card. I joing the light blue group... I cue....30 minutes.

Fingerprints are taken, and they show us to the other section of the hall. We are not allowed to talk, at least not loudly.

I cue... 20 minutes

My interview time is here... 3 minutes. With a smile and a comment that he has never handled a Yugoslavian passport before visa officer informs me that I got a 3 year multiple entry visa.

I smile back, I turn and walk back home. I am still confused - I broke my helpless mode, got visa and after few runs, patient cues and printed fingertips the road has opened.

I am going to America.

An Inconvenient Truth

2007-01-22T14:09:00.001+08:00

I have seen Al Gore's documentary about global warming. I felt like reading the manual how to use and maintain a newly purchased gadget only, this time, it was about the Earth. Many users, instructions not written in all the languages, not everybody is interested in maintaining it, not everybody is interested in claiming ownership ... where are we all going?

Sometimes I wonder if the Earth would give us the melting surprise of Ice Age even if we didn't invent cars, factories and various touches that make the atmosphere go "Urgh!" Either way, I do what I can to help next generation live its eternity and hope that 2012 is just another myth (like millenium bug). On the other side, if 2012 was the end of Earth as we know it (Mayan calendar states so), what would I do if I had another 5 years to live....

China Days

2007-01-18T13:17:00.000+08:00

Good China days

when clear skies open up the view and air is easy to breathe
joyful taxi rides when drivers know where they are going, are quiet or sing and car is clean
when I realise that systems have improved: new highways, less cues in banks, easy access to internet :D
weekend hikes
esoteric chats with friends
clean restaurants and great service
new discoveries about chinese ways of thinking which makes life so much easier

Bad China days

polution beyond acceptable
new taxi drivers whose cars smell and they can't stop talking about their assumptions of where I come from, who I am and what I think
feeling trapped in Beijing traffic
friends leaving China and feeling of loneliness
MSG in food
facing Chinese ways of dealing with reality that makes me assume Chinese people are ignorant and so not interested to work together on solving problems

Missing Links

2006-12-21T14:35:00.000+08:00

Link after link after link.... I wonder how can I get from searching web about competencies into a pdf on psychic defense? Time clashes with lines and circles and the day is almost over. Do I full myself thinking that I have learned anything new? I downloaded all the fancy free stuff and put it away into the folders. Just in case - maybe some day I will find it useful. In meantime, Mozilla crashes and links disappear into the cyberspace.

www.businessballs.com
www.mindtools.com
www.geniuscatalyst.com

The Growth of Awareness

2006-12-20T14:09:00.000+08:00

An old samurai warrior knew his time on earth was nearing an end and wished to bequeath his sword to the brightest of his three sons. He designed a test.

He asked a friend to hide just inside his barn, above the doorway, and gave him three small bags of rice. He then invited each son inside, one at a time.

The first son, after feeling the rice bag fall on his head, drew his sword and cut the bag in half before it hit the ground.

The second son halved the bag even before it hit his head.

The third son, sensing something amiss, declined to enter the barn - and so earned his father's sword.

Photos taken November 2005 in Tian Tan, Temple of Heaven, Beijing

Story taken from Body Mind Mastery (Creating Success In Sport and Life), Dan Millman

Choices

2006-12-18T16:14:00.000+08:00

I've got 6 Seconds calendar for 2007 as a present. Hasty to know what was the artist's good wish for the next year I opened January: Self Awareness.

Recommended movie is Walk the Line - about Johnny Cash who follows the dream and lives the path of self-awareness that is not always bright and happy. Is the path to self awareness always filled with some dark, horror stories? Is there always that little (or big) surprise that shifts the paradigm and moves the behavioural mountains?

Stories are often told that major awareness shifts happen at times of dealing with grief or any difficult situation. Times of 'reaching the bottom', 'hitting the wall', 'holding a straw' are there not to tell us that journey is dangerous but to let us celebrate the learning.

I choose to be free.

There was a story on Internet - The one where Johnny lives in the moment. He chooses to be happy.

Recently I realised that Johny's choice was valuable for any evaluation of success and quality of life.

I choose to be free and happy.

Michael Neil talked about the scale of emotions in his newsletter. The last on the scale is peace. I totally agree.

I choose peace, freedom and happiness.

Images below (Celebrating moments):
1. Settling Mist, taken in Tibet, 2002 - on the way to Kailash. Thin air brought this image of peace and beauty.
2. Zmaj, taken by my sister Anita. The kite was bought in China, flown in the skies of Switzerland. I felt complete sense of freedom and peace when I saw this photo. I imagined my nephew Ivan learning how to 'work' the wind and succeeding to take it high into the clouds. Well done Ivan!
3. On the Top of the Hill - taken in the hills surrounding Beijing. One of K's and mine hikes that gave us amazing sense of freedom, peace and happiness.

Free to fly

2006-12-13T13:46:00.000+08:00

Sometimes it just happens so that I feel like a bird - unaware that light is shining right under my feet.

The Difference In Perspective

2006-12-12T10:20:00.000+08:00

Yesterday on a reality TV show host brought women of various nationalities and asked the audience to say what they think of them based on their appearance. Not long after the comments were shared heated discussion started. There were tears, most women felt insulted and how wouldn't they? Hispanic woman was labeled as The Maid, Iranian woman was perceived to be of use since she must have connections with Taliban (hence can help if terrorist attack), African-American woman was perceived poor... The women were bombarding each other with judgement, prejudice and conviction that the perception was justified since media was projecting it.

Being willingly brain washed is probably the laziest way of using the mind.

Wake up, travel, see different, experience different for you will think, feel and act differently and if there is anything you are not happy in your life with - it is time to change.

Happiness comes from harmony

2006-12-11T13:36:00.000+08:00

Like a fortune cookie words stare at me stating:

Happiness comes from harmony, not wealth and fame.

Lao Zi

It further explains: In this saying, Lao Zi captures the Taoist attitude toward money and social status. while most people aspire to such goals, imagining them to be a source of happiness, the Taoist masters dismiss them as at best irrelevant and at worst an impediment to well-being.

Yang Zi teaches, "Four desires disturb our peace: The desires for a long life, fame, social prestige, and wealth. Those without these things are given no rest by their dissatisfaction and those with these things live in constant fear of losing them. It is the opposite with those who entrust their lives to destiny."

From the Taoist perspective, the majority of us spend most of our time valuing the wrong things, so it is no surprise that so few people are really happy. Lao Zi teaches, "the wise do not value a huge gemstone as much as a little time. Time is hard to find and easy to lose." If we fail to appreciate fully the gift of life, we are wasting our most precious resource and no amount of fame and gain will ever help us. Yen Zi comments, "If someone neglected his business to wander around aimlessly, people would say he was crazy. Yet those who completely ignore the inevitability of death and obsessively seek wealth and prestige are called sane!"

Happiness is our natural state when we are in harmony with Tao. When we allow our desires for wealth and status to disturb our innate contentedness, they become hindrances to happiness. True happiness lies in changing ourselves on the inside so that we come into harmony with Tao, not accumulating wealth and prestige in the world. Lao Zi explains, "The wise transform the inner to make the outer enjoyable, they don't try to transform the outer to make the inner enjoyable. They experience spontaneous enjoyment within themselves.

The photos above are the closest I got in visually expressing what I just read.

Dying for banana

2006-12-08T12:13:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I conversed with my mind and when the question came up: "What is Death?"
It answered promptly: "A waste bin"
A grin and silence requested an explanation.
"It is like a banana peal - you throw it into a waste bin once you ate it. Dying is the peal - life is the act of eating banana. Once you are done you don't regret eating banana and you don't question the peal why you suddenly got it. It just is."

Invisible Ink

2006-12-07T15:39:00.000+08:00

The pages are still blank, but there is a miraculous feeling of the words being there, written in invisible ink and clamoring to become visible. ~Vladimir Nabakov about writing

I was walking along the streets of Beijing when I saw a quiet group of people dipping their big brushes into icy water to write calligraphy on the pavement. Poems, quotes, words or even a simple character would briefly resist natural laws before they evaporate. Calligraphers, as it seems, remain inspired and fulfilled - otherwise they wouldn't be there every day.

Tribute to the signs near the travel-road

2006-12-06T09:29:00.000+08:00

I have been thinking about different crossroads I have encountered in my daily decision making.
Abundance of choices, determined action and need to move forward. Sometimes I break through the walls, sometimes I ignore signs that say Stop! Often I look down when the sign is high up in the sky. There are no rules - each place will have own signature surprise. By the time I reach the destination signs make sense.

Look for Respect, Stop-Challenge-Choose, Ask for directions

This is the tribute to the signs near the travel-road

“Between the fear that something would happen and the hope that still it wouldn't, there is much more space than one thinks. On that narrow, hard, bare and dark space a lot of us spend their lives.”

Ivo Andric

Early morning epifany

2006-12-05T09:37:00.000+08:00

I have been resisting early morning practice for two weeks. Sleeping in, enjoying warm bed, resting lazy bones - what a bliss! It is a mental block when none of the practice seems valuable and winter weather is way too cold to comprehend. At the same time I have to be honest: I know I 'd practice again but postponing the start seemed more valuable than dealing with frostbite.

Today was the day to break the spell. I hated every moment of the waking, I questioned my intentions, I rediculed the meaning of practice and was suspicious about Shifu's teachings. I went out anyway - as if I dared myself to check once again why I was so determined to practice in the past and possibly even hoping that I'll find reasons to completely stop practicing afterwards.

In silence I followed K who practiced all this time on her own. And there it was - full moon greeted us while night still resisted early morning call. It is 6AM, occasional joggers, early bus brings constructions workers to their site. I start practicing: I still hate it. I even forgot the most simple excercise. Simply not present. Step by step - after each sequence he double checks how I'm doing.

"I'm hating it", I say.
"Never mind, keep practicing" he says.

Epifany hit me while I was doing 'Dragon Moves Qi' excercise: I realized that I was doing something that was not common, not daily task, not something that everybody could do. Not at all. I felt priviliged to have exposure to secret knowledge, ancient Chinese culture and my humble place in it.

Today I learnt that my practice will not bring any advancement during winter. The only purpose to practice now is to maintain what I have created during Spring, Summer and Autumn. Not a great incentive, not the best combination, but I still decide to practice. It stills my mind and often that is the best part of it all - silence accompanied with the bright moon, like that time in Kailash while camping on 5200m and struggling for breath. Learning about the simplicity and power of the nature.

Unstructured day

2006-12-01T10:59:00.000+08:00

Today is one of those days when meetings get cancelled and priorities shift so I get a chance to look at everything I have started once and not quite followed up on. Yesterday I worked on some photos, today is the day of writing and gentle reading, Monday I have coaching session, after that - I really don't know and I am loving it!

This was not an easy path of realisation. I have been resisting my nature for quite a while until signs were so obvious that I could only be blind if I continued doing what was not giving any results - trying to have one profession, work full time for corporate sector. By all means I don't mean that this is wrong thing to do - it was just not right for me!

Besides some obvious metrics and personality tests (Kolbe A Index, Strengths Finder Index, Enneagram), crucial person in my steady focus on what it is that fulfills me is my coach Michael Neill (www.geniuscatalyst.com). You can subscribe to his newsletter on the same website - inspiring.

In meantime - my blog became visible in China, we got a new puppy and I am learning new ways of happy thoughts. All is well.

Changes and tricks to view my blog

2006-06-29T14:30:00.000+08:00

As I am trying to find the way to view my blog in China I set up another blog thinking that having China in my blog may be the cause of it being blocked. So, for those interested to hear more about my experiences and lifestyle in China please go to
http://life-coach-balanced-living.blogspot.com which I also cannot view here but I still decided to keep it as the main blog.
I am still learning how to use all the tricks of blogging.

Blogging in China - disciplined practice

2006-06-03T15:07:00.000+08:00

I have started blogs somewhat suspicious and wanting to experience the new wave of communication when I realized that I can't view my blog in China. Enthusiasm waned out, idea of daily writing turned into weekly thought that I should write which inevetably leads to not writing... I am currently in Europe and just for fun of it checked how my blog looks like on the web - what a pleasant surprise. I saw one comment and that was enough to motivate me to write more.

This reminded me of the hurdles I passed with practice, not seeing the outcomes of doing standing stance or any other practice. I rebelled, thought that teachings were not real, that stories I heard about outcomes practice gives were fake. I read John's comment to my blog on finding shifu, and then I read his blog about the benefits of practicing alone. I can't agree more - getting to self discipline, self motivation and persistance is focal element of any practice. I also think that it is very important to have a healthy base of non-dependant relationship with a person that triggers that kind of approach to the practice, something I didn't add when I wrote about finding master.

Over and over again I learn how to observe self during practice, how to adjust body and intent while the nature does the rest. Whatever the journey and exploration of any practice is, if it is good for you keep doing it, five minutes a day is better than no practice at all. Evenutually you will find your own way by teaching others, passing the knowledge and learning even more.

Martial Arts and Daily Living

2006-05-30T09:10:00.000+08:00

A lot of people are put off by the idea of martial arts for a simple reason that you need to wake up early and practice outside during winter. In my opinion these are such minor components of the whole practice and if you do get into practicing at dawn and during the winter than you are already into it that much that it doesn’t matter. Your teacher may be flexible enough to assist you in learning whenever it is convenient for you, some teachers take it easy during winter and if you have a spacious apartment you can practice at home. So, first of all martial arts teaches flexibility.

Another simple implementation of martial arts in daily living is that you learn how to keep be focused, relaxed and under pressure at the same time. The pressure comes from the point of twisting your body in new directions, using muscles you haven’t used before, learning what ‘natural posture’ means in terms of martial arts. After a while your body becomes soft outside (for the observer) and hard inside (you experience the flow of qi in your body). Simply, if you manage to keep your body relaxed in strenuous exercise then in daily living you can maintain being relaxed in stressful situations. Needless to mention, daily practice enabled me to remain calm and focused despite the circumstances and the environment.

Many students ask – what do I do with my eyes? Where do I look? Regardless what the practice is – standing, walking, moving – eyes are looking straight but your mind does not register information taken by your eyesight. The gaze is turned internally, observing your muscles, your legs, your hands, scanning every single request with your mind. I used to go to crowded places to train for competitions – the more distraction the better it was. Well, no doubt, I learned how to focus and keep final destination constantly in my mind – perfection of the body posture, allowing the energy to flow freely like cleaning blocked pipes or dirty chimneys. Meridians are fresh, blood circulates to all parts of the body, there are no blockages and as qi starts in your dan tian it swirls through the whole body and is being released into the ground. To reach perfection you first hear about what it is that you are looking for and then step by step focus on each requirement until you get it and lift yourself up to new horizons. I take focus as another insight for daily living.

Recently I have been translating for Liu Shifu – he has new students who don’t speak much of Chinese and I am amazed (again and again) how much patience he has. Each student is treated in a new way, with new perspective, so much appropriate for their personality. I stopped asking how he does it, each time it is just as if he knows how nature works. Of course, practicing ba gua was helpful for increasing this insight (amongst other things). As I translate I keep rushing ahead, giving my perspective on what is being said, talking about my experience while he sits calmly and waits for me to finish. Never a single comment, never a single request. I look at new students practicing zhang zhuan (standing stance) and keep thinking: they must be bored, there is so much more to it! And yet, I realize – their mind is so occupied by simple standing stance (as it looks simple to an observer) and giving them more just takes them away from the final destination. I learned patience by living in China and I know that patience is part of every journey – accept the fact that beginning is slow and that some things you will do well, some will be hard. I accept patience as part of my daily living – with flexibility, calm and focus I look forward to every new challenge.
Copyright 2006 Dalida Turkovic

Finding Shifu

2006-05-17T09:27:00.000+08:00

When master and a disciple meet they are both ready for the exchange and mutual growth. In Chinese this is called yuanfen - destiny.

There is a perception that all good Masters have left China and now live abroad. Martial Arts are in China somewhat regarded as old school, tradition that society wants to break away from while embracing modern lifestyle. To certain extent this may be true however, Masters are still around in China, abroad – everywhere. Once you are ready you will look for one and he will find you.

Long ago, before I was looking for a Master I read that you can recognize one if they have great sense of humor, presence, calmness and wit. Avoid teachers that insist you should be practicing with them, those that speak highly of themselves are fake and avoid them. Real Master will speak highly only of their own Master and the practice itself.

I found my first teacher early in the morning in September 1999 (I believe it was 0630) in the nearby park (Temple of Sun) where I’ve seen people practicing taiji. I almost gave up after 30 minutes of looking for groups of people – it felt like it was a day off for taiji practitioners. And then, just at the tip of my doubt that I will find what I was looking for hundreds of people appeared before me simultaneously waving in small circles. I was enchanted and observed who amongst them could be my teacher. I wanted it to be a woman, I needed a role model and one quiet gentle woman drew my attention. When I approached her she pointed in another direction and suggested I talk to a woman who in quite harsh way required perfection from the group. She scolded people openly calling on their weird posture and laughed at them shamelessly. At first, I thought she was somebody I’d rather avoid but once recommended I accepted the challenge and agreed to meet with her the following day. Day by day I practiced every day with her for 5 years.

He Laoshe is a 7th generation Wu style Taiji (although she thought me Yang Style) and after bad press falong gong brought to Chinese energy practitioners she accepted modern style practice – forms approved by government, mostly focused on competitions (performance). She detached from traditional ways, didn’t talk much about qigong nor history. The base of the practice was to keep learning various forms and at that time I found it interesting, precious and soothing for me. I learned and grew, I conquered my fears in competitions, all very useful and applicable in my daily living, my memory and focus improved through memorizing all the movements and learning what ‘natural posture’ means in Taiji world. One after the other I learned forms: 8, 16, 24, 42, 48, 32 sword, 56 sword … each new form was helping me improve the performance of the old one.

After 5 years of practicing with He Laoshe one thing became apparent: I was getting medals on competitions, everybody could see that I mastered forms but I was ‘empty’ inside. Daily practice brought me insight that in 10 years I may get a grip on what my Qi flow is and how to work it out for personal benefit. It seemed like long time and my impatience triggered need to explore more teaching styles, to look for other teachers, compare what was out there and who was the best for me.

I met with 4 male teachers over next 2 years and each one brought something different into my perspective. The first one was young, also competing in Yang Style – looking back to time I met him I realize I wasn’t ready for him. From him I learned gentleness. The next one I met was a former soldier, he came to class in his pointy shining shoes and I thought he was all over the place. I didn’t find him grounded, he was too immature for my perspective of Master and how one should look like. From him I learned to appreciate calmness. Soon after that I met a teacher who was disabled, living in a poor neighborhood, who knew the theory, talked a lot but wouldn’t practice and didn’t require that I practice either. He required RMB500/month which would cover 8 classes and I could come more if I wanted. That didn’t quite work for me either, and even I saw him 3 times the connection faded away. From him I learned I learned the role of mind in the martial arts practice. The closest I got to change the teacher (Shifu) was when I met Chen Laoshe who had presence, posture, some charisma and strength that attracted me. I met with him 4 times, practiced for a bit and then found myself being dragged to dinners and gatherings where he wanted to show to others his new foreign student. As that was too much show off for my taste – so I stopped. From him I learned that the quickest way for worm to eat a wood is moving horizontally rather than vertically.

3 months later I had a privilege to meet with Liu Shifu, originally I knew him as masseuse. After inspiring massage session and few talks about Tao I was intrigued with his style, calmness and ease he was presenting life. After asking if I could learn massage from him he said I had to practice to attain gongfu (workmanship, skill, art). The way I understood it then is that I needed to fill my empty bones with strength and ground myself in practice. That is how I started practicing Bagua and Xinyi Style Martial Arts with Liu Shifu. Traditional ways of Chinese gongfu presented in the considerate way of learning how to act in harmony with Nature.

I can’t say I won’t practice anything else, I can’t say I won’t practice with another shifu. I am definitely not sure if I would’ve captured teachings of Liu Shifu if I met him 7 years ago but one thing I know for sure – after 3 months of practicing with him my Taiji improved significantly and I was able to sense the flow of qi.
For one year I didn’t learn any form, I was stretching my body, learning about Chinese culture and philosophy, sharing daily problems, talking about dreams and how they could be interpreted. Yesterday I had my first massage class – 1,5 years after I originally intended to learn Tuina.

In China I learn patience.

Martial Arts and Daily Living in China

2006-05-16T09:05:00.000+08:00

When choosing a master one need not be hasty. Observe people around yourself with patience and understanding, teach them of yourself and understand inner path you are taking. It later allows you to look at your master’s eyes with humility, understanding and acceptance. Great masters have been but a few and only history keeps their records, few alive ones keep battling about own theories and perspectives being more concerned about claiming others being wrong rather than proving self being right. Considering the fact that training in martial arts partly requires imagining opponent (with an aim of being ready once it really gets to that point) I assume verbal dispute is a modern way of contemporary practice..

* * *

“You are the sixth generation of Bagua Zhuang Style,” Liu says proudly. I try to hide confusion of my mind going through a Bagua genealogy calculation:
“If he is proud for me being the sixth generation, it must be even more special to be the fifth one!” thoughts are racing each other while hoping he doesn’t misinterpret my disappointment: I came in one generation too late…
I am convinced that karma carries something within my matrix which has distinguished code for martial arts. I start practicing 3-4 hours daily. There is some force that I like and follow in this instance. Projected initially through the energy of money I keep questioning decision to invest in myself and pay double of the fee to somebody I hardly know. There is something in his eyes that I want to get: clarity, calmness and depth. He keeps convincing me that it is just the matter of time.
Gentle strokes and testing of the physical capabilities are nothing but the beginning of the vast exploration of Internal School of Martial Arts. Taichi, Xinyi and Bagua. He is proud of his own way, as all the other masters (Shifu) are. I have not met many but can distinguish pride from arrogance.